although short and over too soon, this tour ruled. thanks to everyone who came out booked shows or were interested enough to come and see us and lewd acts. These shows were awesome. Big ups to our brothers in lewd acts, for sharing their shit with us, and stuffing nine dudes in the space of 5 so that we could annoy new places all over the eastern seaboard. Jeff, Trevis, Charlie, Yeti, Charzard,see you real soon.

By real soon i meant Fri Jan 30th Graf Orlock, Lewd Acts, Alarm, Last Gnarwhal House show, Tucson
Sat Jan 31, Graf Orlock, Lewd Acts, Modified Arts, Phoenix
Sat Feb 7th, Graf Orlock, Lewd Acts, Dangers, Gilman, Berkeley



News about Destination Time Today, Forthcoming

For the Time Being, Check out the new Valkyrie Review


Steadycam Reviews #7: VALKYRIE

I love comedies. Not in the lowbrow, median intelligence, Will Ferrell movie kind of way, but the desperately simple and inanely befouled with stupidity kind of way. The wonderful new film Valkyrie centers around the cavalier activities of one Tom Cruise, playing a German WWII Colonel attempting to assassinate Hitler, all while refusing to show any genuine character or attempt at a real German accent. This brings to focus the one truly annoying aspect of this film (considering you maintain a modicum of literacy or breathe regularly). This is a complete lack of effort in any linguistic consistency amongst the characters. Everyone speaks in a different accent, English, American, German, thus creating a mish-mash of crappy discontinuity; a veritable grab bag of laziness tantamount to not giving a flying fuck at any stage of the editing process. To boot, violence in this film is minimal, and although it is not the new Rambo, it does have its fair share of suicides, gun play, and people-erasing proximity explosives. Where this polished turd really shines is its obligatory emotional "call to arms," revising a relatively safe period in historical discourse over which most people have already decided their lukewarm feelings. There are few questionable political innuendos or parallels to contemporary subversion, only a boiling down to essentials where binary opposites of good and evil could be decided by the protagonist dying without his mission accomplished. Sorry Tom, Germany was right to ban you from making this film, under the stipulation that Scientology is a cult, no matter what your e-meter says. Maybe next time you could make a movie that didn't have me laughing all the way out of a depressing Atlanta mall, only to later realize I was both confused and sad about an ill-executed comedy that leaves one feeling like they need a bath to get rid of the disgusting patina of irrelevance and mistreatment of history. Thanks!

Rating: 2 out of 5 steadycams for: low-level violence, systemic suicide, a failed coup d'etat, and self-righteous firing squad deaths.

For fans of: Irrelevance, barely surviving birth, and "choose your own adventure" style bastardized history.