While perusing the Amazon sales rankings of my book, which I do occasionally (every fifteen minutes), I noticed that I am currently outselling David Sedaris's 1994 book "Barrel Fever" in the Humor Section. Here is proof . (By the time you click on this link, it may no longer be true, but you will have to take my word that it once was.) Of course he has about ten other books on that list that are currently outselling mine, including his current book which is actually one of the top-selling books on the entire site, but I would like to make the point that mine is the only one of those books that HAS YET TO BE PUBLISHED!!! Which is to say, my YET TO BE PUBLISHED book is outselling one of David Sedaris's already published books. Impressive? Oh yes. Further, mine is the only one which has an essay entitled "Hey David Sedaris, Why Don't You Just Go Ahead and Suck It," which is kind of like bending matter back on itself. Additionally, alone among our books, mine is the only one with a blurb from David's sister Amy. Why is it that I love Amy Sedaris more than David Sedaris? David Sedaris, you are a bad brother.

Am I attempting to start a literary feud with David Sedaris with the feeble hope that the resultant publicity will increase sales of my book? Yes.