Today I had a realization that I like this boy..so does this other girl. Somehow I realized that we shared many things in common. Such as:

- We're both in love with Autumn.
- We both use to like the same guy before Autumn came into the picture.
- We are creative.
- We're explorers.
- Our emotions are the same.
- We share many common interests.
- Etc.

TO MY SURPIRSE(sarcasm), I do not like her one bit. But maybe it's because I feel threatened by her. We met through a friend and we just ignored each other after that. I doubt she evens remembers my face, but I'm pretty sure she does. She hated me because I was able to go out with the guy she liked and she couldn't. He never had any interest of being more than friends with her. Somehow I got lucky.

Ever since I started college, I've been seeing Autumn around once and awhile. And I must say, I did a bad thing a few must ago that upsetted him. Why did I do it? Because I like to be in control.. If I can't take control of my emotions on somebody else, or if they take over my emotions, then I drop them out of my life as quickly as they became a part of it. Sadly I regret this, but I must say it was for the best.

Autumn has some interest in this girl more than he did with me. But that's okay, it's his life. But knowing that we had some things in common I wanted to know the differences.

- I'm an artist, she's a writer.
- I'm negative, she's positive.
- I pushed him away, she pulls him closer.
- I'm a recluse, she's outgoing.
- I am silent, she is loud.
- I am blunt, she is too, but she hides it.
- Etc. (I had more things to write, but if I write too much she'll find out.)

But then again, this doesn't make sense. Autumn is a mirror of me. So, if that's the case.. what is this girl?

Certainly I am NOT in love with her and I am not fond of her. Then what is she to me...?

Most probably my other half. No, not this soulmate crap, but she has the aspects that I lost throughout the years. The aspects I've been fighting for.. What am I to do now?

Will I fight to be your equal Autumn? Or will I subside to let her take over?

Only an artist could capture your dreams..they show you want to see.

Writers can make you feel good, but they twist words and they decieve.

I am not one, but both of these things.

What am I to do?






- Sol