My 4th birthday was the earliest birthday that I can remember. Excitement bubbled all around me. It felt very monumental (after waiting a full year to get to this wonderful day.) After all, that year was 1/4th of my young life.

Things have changed this time around. You see, at age 34, the past year represents 1/34th of my life. And with that fractional shift comes the realignment of my perceptions of time. It is as if the older I get, the quicker the time moves. But, in reality, it all just starts to mean a little less.

I mulled over this sad thought as I munched on my birthday cake. You see, my geeky friends knew that it would take a little action to get me through the depression. What they didn't know was that the girl of the night was supposed to hid inside some sort of pretend wooden cake, and not trapped beneath layers and layers of Sponge Bob Flavored pound cake.

Alas, I was told that she was hiding in there somewhere, so I continued to eat. Sadness hung over my tight jeans, as if all those drunken years had decided to fill my stomach at once.

Trying not to show my dark side to my generous friends, I switched the topic to happier birthday stories: my 17th birthday (when I lost my virginity), my 21st birthday (when I tried to drink 21 beers in 21 minutes), my 30th birthday (with Rob Corradetti at Venice Beach.)

And then it happened. I bit right into the heart of that human sized cake and I found her hiding inside. Now, this wasn't some Tenderloin slut that you'll find at the other parties. This was the slut of my dreams, in fact the girl who kept me alive for all those years. Seeing her there, covered in cake, seemed to surpass all those sentimental memories that I can conjure on this day.

You see, it is true that age can dull the perceptions of time. And as you feel the time slipping through your fingers at a quicker rate, you're hit by the increasing weights of life and become overwhelmed by the shadows of death. It takes more energy to lift ones spirits as you try to reconcile the choices made that lead you to this moment. It is the moment when some might not even feel worthy of being loved anymore. And it is also at this moment, that compassion for others around you grow. You search for something to tie you to this Earth and to keep your spirit from floating away. And as you finally become grabbed by this person (your anchor), you find yourself able to love again, with more clarity than ever.

And on this note, I would like to make a plea on behalf of love. Let it live and let it grow. Let it fill the gaps that time and age have wedged into your spirit. So, happy birthday to you and happy birthday to me and happy birthday to all the geminis all over the world.