"This is amazing Monday!"

As much as I want to say they were commenting on my music, it was for something else; at a gathering at a friends' house, we had just finished feasting on raclette and I'd contributed a dessert, an experimental tiramisu: lady fingers soaked in ceremonial green tea (layer one) and local raspberry wine (layer two) as opposed to the traditional espresso, white chocolate infused with the marscapone cream, and served with a light dusting of the ceremonial green tea powder. I thought it was a great combination of tastes, and also represented my Japanese and Italian ancestry. We were a mix of Europeans and Americans, and everybody was familiar with the traditional Italian tiramisu to understand the twist I'd taken and surprised at the harmony of unexpected ingredients.

I can't take credit, though, for brainstorming this on my own. Many years ago, while dining at one of my favorite Manhattan restaurants, Cafe Bouley, I was treated to a white chocolate mousse with ceremonial green tea and realized what a perfect combination the white chocolate and green tea was. It also reminded me of the many interesting desserts one can find in Japan's "depachika," the basement level of major department stores where they offer eye popping assortment of foods in display cases -- heaven. While looking up a recipe for a white chocolate tiramisu (I was convinced this was already created by SOMEBODY, and sure enough, there it was in the Food Network site), they suggested serving it with fresh raspberries and I remembered a tasting I'd done recently at a local winery of raspberry dessert wine which I thought could work well. In another words, other people's ideas inspired me to come up with my own twist on this tiramisu and it worked!

It's always been my take on cooking (and eating) food, to combine flavors and create different dishes, from when I was in my late teens. Why not use shiitake instead of regular mushrooms? Why not substitute fresh fruit such as oranges instead of using tomatoes in a salad? Why not make pesto out of arugula, or flavor a ceviche with shiso (perilla) instead of cilantro? Today many top chefs worldwide are doing just that, recreating traditional dishes by substituting certain ingredients to create a whole new dish, a genre which used to be called "nouvelle" in the '80s and is recently renamed that despicable word in certain music cricles: fusion. With the globalization era in which the internet has shrunk our world into a laptop, information is easy to get, and ingredients unknown to many only a decade ago can be found in almost any urban grocery shop worldwide. Mix that with a little imagination and ingenuity and anyone can cook like Nobu. Well, it helps to have talent and a good palate. Me, I'm fueled by my desire to eat, hence I cook.

I take this same approach with music as well as with my general clothing style, with a similar understanding of what works and doesn't work for me. For example, with fashion, I know that a skirt in a certain length works against my height and over enhance my bowlegged silhouette, or a certain color can wash out my olive-yellow complexion and make me look a million years old. Wearing too ethnic clothing will make me look like I'm F.O.B. from Nepal, and tight white clothing shows every inch of flab I'd otherwise want to hide. A certain pink works great for me, but if it's the wrong pink, it can either look like I'm trying too hard to look young, or the paler shade will accuse me of being an Asian trying to camoulage herself into a W.A.S.P. society. And it goes on. It's a live and learn knowledge with a lot of trial and error as personal likes and dislikes that I'm sure many of us have gone through (or are still going through), but eventually you get the hang of it. Who cares about fashion if you look silly, highlight a flaw, or generally look like sh*t?

Same with music. The world of music was already pretty small when I was coming into my own and I never questioned if you had to be black or white or purple to have the right to sing or feel soul (Carol King already broke that barrier in my book), rock (Jimi Hendrix), jazz (look at my mother), reggae (to me, The Police who were doing a combination of ska, rock and pop were king), etc. So when I read a snide blog comment accusing me of musically trying to be something I'm not, I can't help but wonder what this person thinks I should be? Another also said he got the feeling I was a "geek" which I had to laugh at -- not because it's outlandish, but because it's actually sort of true! In reference to the "geek" comment, I have to insert that this is probably a little of the "otaku" culture that I think I might be slightly a part of where I'm just immersed in it and have little time or energy towards developing other parts of myself, and also I'm just a "nice" person (with fragments of bitchy-ness) -- I don't try to act cool or put up a front or an attitude. Why? It's just an exterior mask to me, an affectation that I'm too lazy to acquire to appear to be with the in crowd. I'd rather be nice, be humble (because I really feel that way, not pretending), and sincerely feel grateful towards the people around me for accepting me into their lives and hope that I can contribute in some positive way. All while doing what I aim for, whatever that might be.

But getting back to the comment of trying to be something that I'm not, I beg to question if this person really knows what I am, or what I'm not? My guess would have to be a big ol' fat NO. Heck, I'm still getting to know myself, so how can this person who is not a part of my life in any shape or form know what I think, how I feel, why I do what I do, let alone why I choose to make and sing the type of music I do. Is it that s/he thinks I should do Japanese infused music because I look primarily Asian? Or sing Italian opera as is my partial genetic roots? Or is it that my mixture of styles is confusing to the listener and make some think I'm just confused myself?

I can't help but think that there is a high amount of ignorance and stereotyping not only by this blogger, but many regardless of country or race, who still think jazz and soul should be sung by black Americans, who think classical is strictly for Europeans, that rock 'n roll should be for trailer park and rebellious whites, etc. Please, are we still in such an antiquated mind set? For that matter, what business do people other than Americans, namely cowboys and farmers, have in wearing blue jeans, especially those millionaires on NY's upper East side -- do they think they're fooling us? What's up with these kimono-sleeve dresses worn by non-Japanese, or sari inspired skirts worn by non-Indians? Who does Chef David Bouley think he is, borrowing Asian traditional spices and other ingredients to fancy up his food? I'm almost laughing as I write this because these notions are not only outdated but downright stupid.

I'll use my mother as a perfect example of someone who came out of a completely alien background compared to those who may seem more naturally destined to become a jazz musician, and why what she does is completely her own thing. She's Japanese, born and grown in Manchuria, China until 13 years of age, classically trained, then fell in love with jazz music as a teen while working at a dance hall in Japan to help support the family. Her love was so deep that she paved a name for herself in Japan as being quite the jazz pianist, and got discovered by none other than the great jazz pianist Oscar Peterson who helped scout her to attend Berklee, the first Japanese at the school, and record with Norman Granz. Over the years she developed her chops as a jazz pianist and composer, and it was in the '70s that she decided to infuse Japanese traditional music to create and tell her own perspective and thoughts of life. Maybe there were some who thought that was a stretch, but I know there were many who thought she created a completely unique perspective to jazz that is solely her own. Did I also mention that jazz, composing and band leading were and still is primarily male dominated? Certainly didn't stop her, and she is now considered a living national treasure in Japan, inducted with the Jazz Master Award, and other awards recognizing her amazing work over the decades.

In my case, I'm doing something a little more mixed and with lots of shades of gray. Whereas my mother fused two distinct styles of bebop jazz and traditional Japanese, I tend to take a more little-bit-of-this-and-a-little-bit-of-that approach, and while it's not done consciously, it's all a reflection of music I listened to and loved growing up as well as other styles and artists I became inspired by which resonated with me. I've already written a blog touching similarly on this subject entitled "Fusion" where I describe my various inspirations which took me on the musical path and philosophy I currently have, and it's really not the point of this blog to recount that.

I think the world has become less black and white and more about infinite shades which we as creators add to our palette, finding our own colors, harmonies and balance which best expresses our perspective and heart. I know I'm not black so I'm never going to pretend to be Stevie Wonder or Chaka Khan! I know I'm not Brazilian so I'm never going to pretend to be Flora Purim or Milton Nascimento! I know I'm not purely American so I'll never pretend to be Led Zeppelin! I'm not a Londoner, purely Japanese, African...I'm not a lot of things! What I AM though is a lover of music, a woman, a person who feels deeply, has compassion and sympathy, who loves to rock out sometimes or dig deep into hip hop, who is stimulated by jazz and great improvisation, who feels such beauty from classical and certain Brazilian chord structures, who is in awe of truths and dreams spoken by our poets, who feels the primeval pulse of chantings from African, American Indian or other tribal societies, who feels a certain recognition and interest in rhythms from across our vast but syncopated world...why must one be limited by the book cover we were assigned to at birth?

So I continue to find ingredients that I think work in harmony with others that I want to eat, hear, touch, see, wear, regardless of what preceded my time or is considered acceptable. The past is a map of where others have come from and should I want to revisit for reference, it helps and teaches me, but my future is yet unwritten and there's no right or wrong in my book when it comes to styles.