ten years ago my first record was released, and ten years ago my friend jeff buckley died. i never thought that i would have to carry on without him out there, reminding me why i'm doing it, poetically pep talking me at 3 AM, sweaty phone pressed to my ear. i was such a child then, and there are so many things i wish i could have done differently, things i wish i could change. but mostly, i wish he was still around so we could look back and laugh, saying "remember? remember when i was so young and confused by love and acted like an idiot?... forgive me?" i wish he could hear the songs i write now, the voice that i only found after he left. i wish i could hear the songs that he would write now, at forty, with all that unlived life redeemed. he had so much more to live.