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Evee

Evangeline Cook


Last Updated: 11/27/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Engaged
Age: 23
Sign: Leo

State: Hawaii
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/24/2005

Who Gives Kudos:

XqUzItEmPeR.. (2)
February 26, 2008 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  bummed

Currently, I am experiencing a point in my life where I am on a downward slope.

Somehow it feels like I am alone in certain ways -- work, school...my relationship with my boyfriend is awesome, but I feel like I'm lacking somehow.

I feel inadequate when it comes to my work -- I'm not good enough for anything. School... I'm so exhausted from working 50+ hours a week that I can barely focus. I'm somehow passing, but...I don't know how long it is going to last.

I feel in a way abandoned by many of my friends, but I think that's mostly my fault...for being so involved in my career and my education, to the point where I isolated myself.

I want success -- not just for myself, but everyone around me. But for some odd reason, dedication like this takes whole-hearted sacrifice...something that is beginning to wear down my energy and patience with the things that I do.

I think I need to cut some ties, some responsibilities, before I get burnt out...

...what do you think?


9:23 PM
 
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Evee
Evangeline Cook

 
I don't really know what I want to do anymore. I thought I could keep on going with culinary, but all it does is make me feel defeated.

Add to it that I'm working two jobs, one in Kunia and one at Ala Moana, 30+ hours at Ala Moana and 20 at Gamestop, plus full-time school...which makes for a downhill plunge. I'm just not motivated anymore, and I'm feeling completely and utterly depressed.

It's been hiding on the backburners for a while, and I don't think my boyfriend understands/can open his mind to it, but everything that I'm doing is really hard on me. Maybe I'm just a wuss, but physically I can't take working this hard.

Then there's the fact that I don't have anyone to hang out and enjoy some free time with. It's just work, school, work, school, sleep, work, school...I feel like I'm grinding myself into the ground.

Add to it the pressure from my parents, who think that everything I do is useless, and demand so much from me...

...it just sucks, that's all. I don't exactly know what to do about it.
 
Posted by Evee on February 27, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:59 AM
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XqUzItEmPeReSs

 
girl you know i am only a phone call away... i know we don't get to hang much or talk much but please don't for a moment think that i would ever abandon you... any time you ever need someone or jus wanna hang gimme a call and i will drop whatever it is i am doing just to hang wid you... you know you're my girl and i wouldn't be here nor who i am today without you... you mean a lot to me and to other... don't ever think that jus because we don't talk much or hang out much that i would walk out the door on you... talk to me hun... lemme know what's going on...

much love

~ goldie
 
Posted by XqUzItEmPeReSs on February 27, 2008 - Wednesday - 3:23 AM
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