When you search the Internet for information on how
to create affirmations you find that there is an overwhelming
predisposition to phrasing affirmations in the first person - that is
using I, me, my, or mine in the affirmations.
There is a good
reason for it. Traditionally, affirmations were used by people a narrow
subset of the population - people in recovery, super salespeople, or
elite athletes. The formula preached by the affirmation gurus who
worked with these groups was to write your affirmations in the
first-person and sit in front of the mirror (Stuart Smalley style) and
repeat your affirmations until - by sheer will - you believed them.
No
one can deny that many people used this technique to great effect. The
fact is, however, that most people are too busy or find performing this
ritual kind of cheesy. The parody created by the Stuart Smalley
character on Saturday Night Live, in my opinion, only served to make
affirmations "nerdy" and cause people who could use them to shy away.
Today
people who want to change their habits, reshape their thinking, or
condition their minds for success get their affirmations by listening.
My own 15-plus year experiment with affirmations has found that
repeated listening (both with intent and passively) is every bit as
effective as the mirror talk.
Listening to affirmations provides
the added benefit of being able to augment first-person affirmations
with second-person affirmations - affirmations using you or your. The
importance of adding 'you' to affirmations is that it allows you to tap
into one of the greatest powers of affirmations - thought substitution.
Thought substitution is a process by which you replace an existing
negative thought or belief with a positive one. It is one of the most
important benefits of using affirmations.
Most of the negative
self-talk you seek to overcome with affirmations originated from
outside of you. Other people planted the thoughts and you internalized
them and made them part of your thinking. These thoughts are almost
always phrased (even in your own mind) using 'you' because that is how
you originally absorbed them.
For instance, your mother said,
"You are so stupid," when you were 10 years old. For whatever reason,
you internalized that thought. Over the years, whenever you mess up you
hear the phrase, "You are so stupid," in your mind.
So, using
this example, you create a first-person affirmation that says, "I am
smart," to counter the old thought. The affirmation will be somewhat
effective in countering the old thought, but it will not replace it.
Oddly enough, there is something about the thought substitution process
that requires a one-for-one switch for maximum effectiveness.
The
"I am smart" affirmation plays a role in affirming our own belief in
our intelligence. However, the old thought, "You are so stupid," is
still floating around in your mind and you wind up with two conflicting
beliefs.
What I have found resolves this situation is to
complement the first-person affirmation with a second-person version
that can - with repetition - actually replace the old thought. The most
effective means is to listen to or repeat the affirmation in the
first-person affirmation several times and follow it with the
affirmation in the second-person several times.
The result is
that you are simultaneously planting a new internal thought, "I am
smart," and replacing the old external thought with a substitute
thought coming from the outside that confirms, "You are smart."
Try adding the power of 'you' to your affirmations!
Stay inspired!
Ray
TheAffirmationSpot.com