1985. The year of the Ox in Eastern Astrology. The year the Kansas City Royals won the World Series. Michael and the other stars released "We Are The World". The Nintendo Entertainment System was released in the United States in 1985 and the movie
Back To The Future
also premiered in theaters. Adrian Peterson, Keira Knightly, Raven
Symone, Michael Phelps and many others were born this year. Including
yours truly.
Alas, I find myself wishing that last part were not true these days.
What would it have meant to have been conceived a little later? What
good would it have done? Would I have been any better off than I am
now...? Looking back now I would say
YES.
This closed-minded place of a world we live in was not far enough ahead
yet for me to fit in here as every living being deserves.
Being born a few years later would not have necessarily changed much of
what I went through as a young boy or how I came out to be the person I
am today. Would not have necessarily changed my numerous idiotic
classmates or the flawed parental decisions made by my "Because I Said
So..." mother.
It would not have changed the world's perception on my career of choice
as a Video Game Designer, either. Therefore, the lack of appropriate
institutions[particularly in Chicago, IL of all places] required for it
would stay the same for the same amount of time.
However...
It may have changed just how prepared my mother was to provide for me
being that she may have already been out of college by then.
It may have therefore changed some of the environments in which I grew up.
It would have certainly changed where I went to school after high school graduation.
1989. The year of the Serpent.
High school graduation would have been pushed back to 2007 instead of
2003. The ideal school for me would have already been in existence at
least a few months prior. I would have attended and finished the 2 year
program and been well on my way to a career in the industry in which I
was born to flourish.
Had I been born in 1989 I would not likely be living in half an attic
right now working for the RTA Call Center trying to fend off a $20K+
student loan on $8.50/hour. I would be in my rightful place. I would be
the artist I am meant to be now.
I should have been born a snake. Don't the snakes usually prosper in
this fucked up world of ours, anyway? They get ahead with money,
people, anything they choose.
What's even more fucked up is the only logical explanation for me not
being a snake is because someone wasn't smart enough to tell that
asshole to pull out 24 years ago. In all these sudden shifts from one
persons place to the other and she hasn't even
offered her own place as a possible sanctuary for the oldest son who has yet to find his way to his true calling.
Is it too much to ask for 2 years of shelter and food for the sake of
truly being able to prosper as I should? As you would hope and probably
expect? Especially being that it's your fault that I exist, anyway? I
think not. But, I do question the validity of your
"unconditional love"
if you cannot even find it within you to extend such a simple offer
even after the facts have already been presented to you on more than
one occasion. All the complaining and bitching you had the nerve to
throw my way about playing video games more than doing homework yet you
never bothered to see if there was something worthwhile there.
Something with real potential.
I still have a chance. But, the only thing you wanna push is garbage
about bills and the typical shit any run-of the-mill parent would tell
their child in a situation like mine. Congrats on being common in that
respect. Wonder if I'll even get to chance to seize the opportunity at
this rate.
I should have been a fuckin'
Snake. Thanks for making me an
Ox, Mom and Dad. Giving you a huge sarcastic thumbs up right now. Btw,
don't fuckin' call me or text me asking me if I've "lost my mind"[one
of your favorite lines, I know], because I haven't...not yet. I
got every right to be frustrated about all this and you know it. Mistakes are to learn from. But, if I already learned from yours and avoid it than why do I still wind up suffering from it somehow?
-CoryCow
