God works in truth and honesty.

I work in lies and deceit. I lie and
deceive not just other people, but even myself.

My life is such a tangled web of lies
and deceit that it confuses even me.

I ask God for help in areas and don't
get it, then I shake my fist to heaven and ask Him what He is up to!
But God can not help me if I lie or deceive.

Take marriage as an example (and most
men's complaint):

Me: God please bless my
marriage and if you can help my wife to be a bit more active on the
side of sex pleeeeease! She is a bit cold there.

God: Okay, but first, we need
to talk about your behaviour when you are not around your wife.

Me: Ja, but come on, that is
something different. I am a man and You created me with certain needs
that she is just not meeting and I do only go to her with those
needs.

God: Okay, but what about her
needs that you are not meeting? You both have needs that you should
be meeting in each other and the ball has got to start rolling with
one of you – why not you?

Me: Huh?

God: Okay, too complicated
for a man! Let's go back to what you were talking about. I heard you
share these sexual needs of yours with her when you came home from
work the other night. By the way, you do appreciate that she is My
gift to you?

Me: Oh yes, she is Your gift,
thank You. And she did respond to that discussion very nicely :-)

God: But let's look at the
source of that discussion, the source of your 'needs', shall we? Your
'needs' that you say I gave you actually started in the cafe when you
stopped for a coke on the way home. That young teenager with the big
boobs who couldn't afford a cold drink – remember her?

Me: Sure, but what has that
got to do with this?

God: Well you were quite the
'gentleman' and you offered to buy her a coolie.

Me: :-)
oh yes!

God: But you told her it is
subject to in store activation and that you wanted to see if people
really did go BRRRRRRRRRRR! She obliged and shook those boobies for
you, after which you engaged in some double talk with her and......

Me: Yeah but that was
harmless fun, come on! It had nothing to do with the wife. I had no
intention of fulfilling my needs with that young girl!

God: Sure, but then you went
home and while My gift to you was doing supper for you, you went
online, saying you wanted to check your emails but you also went onto
a few porn sites.

Me: But I wasn't telling
lies, I did check my emails.

God: But you weren't telling
the whole truth either. Then during the meal you raised the topic of
your sexual needs.

Me: And I got a wonderful
response too :--)))

God: Sure, but just so that I
have it clear: You want Me to make your wife, My gift to you, meet
needs that were not from Me or your wife, but from your perversion
and sin? I don't think so!

You have slipped in so called
'needs' into your prayer for a blessing on your marriage but those
needs are not what I gave you but you think you can fool Me?

Me: Okay, okay! Can we talk
about my job and finances please?

God: Go for it.

Me: Well I need a better job
because the income from this one is not meeting my expenditure and
even though You sent that lovely Christian Brother who undertook to
pay the bond for me because he feels that You want me to have a home,
I am not coping.

God: What expenditure?

Me: You know, my bond, car,
water & lights, living expenses etc.

God: Let's talk about those
living expenses shall we. Here you have an amount for living expenses
but what you have not listed, but I know all about, is that these
expenses include beer money, cigarette money, DVD's, Internet porn
links, Petrol to go jolling, rally's, which means more beer, gambling
etc. Why have you not listed those things. Why did you try deceive Me
into thinking they are 'living expenses'? Why have you sneaked them
in under the guise of 'living expenses'?

As for the bond, you have an amount
here for your bond but it is not really your home bond is it? Your
home bond is actually only R150 000. This balance of R 450 000 is
because you took a second bond to buy that fancy boat. You are trying
to deceive Me and you have deceived your Brother by not telling him
the whole truth! He is not paying just your home bond is he? He is
also paying for your debt, generated by your greed!

Me: But it is under my bond
payment :-(

God: But you are telling lies
and being deceitful!

Now, about a job. I did hear you
pray the other night and I remember you quoting scripture, saying
that you do not work for any man but for Me. You said your boss is
merely the middle man.

Me: That's right, Your word
tells me that I actually work for You and so I am asking You to
fulfill Your word – they told us You like to be reminded about what
You promise us.

God: Okay, so here's the
thing. I have looked over your CV and I notice some vital truths are
missing.

Me: No, everything is there.

God: Actually not, some
important facts are missing, which I will get to just now.

I have jobs available but they do
not meet your criteria for employment. Let Me just do another quick
scan.... Nope, I have just checked all the HR guys, Managers and
Business Owners minds, and no one is looking for someone who works
your hours.

Me: My hours? I never
mentioned my hours?

God: That is what is missing
on your CV. But, seeing that you work for Me, you can not hide the
issue of working hours from Me.

Me: What working hours?

God: Well, let Me put it this
way: I have jobs available that run from 08h00 to 17h00, a 9 hour a
day job, for which you will get paid.

Me: Okay, so why can't I get
one of those?

God: Well, according to your
track record, which is what is missing on your CV, you like to get
into work somewhere between 08h10 and 08h30. At tea time, which is
from 10h00 to 10h10, you get ready for tea at 09h50 and only return
to work at 10h20. Lunch is from 12h00 to 13h00, but I see you start
lunch at 11h45 and return at 13h10. Tea time again is at 15h00 to
15h10 but you take tea from 14h50 to 15h20. Knocking off time is at
17h00 but you always like to start preparing to knock off at 16h45.
Oh, then there are the smoke breaks of 15 minutes every 1 or 2 hours.
So at the end of the day you only get a total of 5 hours work done
each day and there are no jobs I can find that will pay you for 9
hours and get only 5 hours out of you.

I am also scanning the minds of a
lot of people around the world right now and not one HR Manager,
Business Owner, Shareholder, Partner or any one else is preparing to
go into a meeting and propose that all staff have their hours cut by
half with no reduction in salary!

I live my life behind a web of lies and
deceit and I think I can fool even God by disguising things, slipping
in things or leaving out things that do not suit my plans and
purposes.

When I do this I am playing in the
devils play ground of lies and deceit and God can not help me there.
His grace wants to help me but I am the hindrance to receiving that
help.

A friend told me about computer
programming and how that people think you can just change things as
you want. They do not realise that if you change one thing in the
program there are other changes to be made going right back to the
beginning of the program.

Nothing works in isolation and it is
the same in my life: My whole life is affected by everything else in
my whole life.

I need to realise that God is
interested in my whole life, not just bits and pieces.

Sure, God may bless me in one area but
I am not to see that as His approval of my entire life. His grace has
supplied where I most need it, but that does not mean He is blessing
my entire life.

The fact that I receive a blessing in
one area actually places a responsibility on me to:

a) Thank God for that blessing but also

b) Ask God to show me other areas that
may not be meeting with His approval and that need to be fixed.

My life is not in compartments and I
can not fool God here.

Me: Okay Lord thanks for that
blessing in finance

God: No sweat, but we need to
look at how you do your job

Me: Come on, that is
something different, I am happy with the way the job is going, leave
that area alone, it's working for me.

What is 'Grace'?

There is an acronym: God's Riches at
Christ's Expense – but that is not grace, that is the fruit or
result of grace.

Someone told me “Grace is total
forgiveness. And total self-sacrifice for that forgiveness.”

I like that, it is very close to my
idea of Grace but forgiveness is still a fruit of Grace.

My definition of Grace is this:

The Creator of all, the Great, the
Mighty, Most High & Most Holy God, into whose presence sin can
not enter, comes to me saying: “There is a way for us to have a
very intimate relationship; Come, let us get together and I will
share My life with you, in you and through you. I am willing - if you
are!”

Grace is God being prepared to reach
down to me, but it involves my willingness to comply with what He
wants out of that relationship, made possible only by Grace!

I think I have lost sight of some very
simple facts which have then led me up the garden path in my
spiritual lives.

There is one simple fact that I have
missed and that is this:

I am the 'beggar' needing God and His
grace – God is not the beggar needing me!

God is not some lonely old man in
heaven needing some mates!

I have an attitude of “Well, old man
upstairs, if you do the right thing by me, I will 'give' you the
pleasure of my company. If you don't do the right thing, if things do
not go the way I want them to or if you interfere with my pleasures,
well then you can go off to the corner and just go play by yourself
until you learn to play the game my way.”

As I analyse my life, I find that I
call on God the most when what I want is not happening to me the way
I want it to.

My life, my thoughts & my prayers
are centred around my perception of my needs!

Compare the amount of time I spend
focused on my perception of my needs, to the amount of time I spend
asking God what He, my Creator wants or expects from me?

But God has become my Sugar Daddy! When
I am sick I call on God the Doctor. Hungry? God the Supermarket. Need
money? God the Banker. Depressed or insecure? God the psychologist.

My idea is that God is desperate for my
company whereas the truth is that I am the one who is in desperate
need of Him!

All of God's promises are conditional.
I know, we have those ridiculous little “promise boxes” &
daily reading booklets, but they are deceitful and just another money
making racket! If you go and look at the entire context in which the
promise is given you will find that God's promises are conditional.

One of our favourites is Jeremiah 29:
11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans
for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope”

But that is not the entire verse and
anyway, God is making a statement about what He knows – God knows
He has plans for each and every one of us, but they are conditional
upon the rest of the verses: “Then you will call upon Me and come
and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me.
When you seek Me with all your heart, I will be found by you”

There are conditions to finding God,
thus there are conditions to finding out His plans for me and the
condition is simply to seek Him with all my heart.

Now what does the word 'all' mean?
Everything, the whole shebang, alles! When God is my number one focus
then, and only then, will I find Him and He can then start the plans
into action!

But I dictate the terms of my
relationship with God as if this relationship is for His benefit. The
truth is totally different in that; it is purely because of God's
patience that I even survived one day after my first major sin; and
it is purely because of God's grace through Jesus that He can &
will forgive me those sins!

1 Peter 2: 1 – 3, gives me signs of
immaturity: Malice, Deceit, Hypocrisy, Envy, Slander – if these are
in my life I am immature and I must get rid of them!

Desire, long for, hunger for the pure
spiritual milk from God that I may grow up into salvation.

Verse 3 is interesting and a literal
translation would be: If indeed you have experienced the Lord's
usefulness.

If I have even the remotest idea of God
being the only one who can help me, assist me and enable me to cope
with whatever life throws at me, then I must obey these standards
found in verse 1 & 2, and constantly ask God “What, in my life,
is not pleasing to You and what can I do about it?”.