I've never been one to knock Public Transportation. Its there for a specific reason, that is it helps people like me who can't readily afford a car get from point A to point B when it's at a distance where walking distance is at an extreme distance. Usually I have uneventful trips to and from the bus stops, and usually every now and then when I'm waiting for the bus when I get off work, something highly amusing happens. Lately there has been a string of highly amusing things happening, not only at the bus stop, but also in my life in general that I figured I'd share them with all of you

The first time I had to laugh was one morning about a month ago when I was waiting and I heard a motorcycle revving and someone shouted "Get off the fucking road Asshole!" and when the light hit green, instead of seeing a Big Bad Biker yelling at a pedestrian, I saw one of Las Vegas's Finest riding by with a blank expression on his face. I saw white crossing sign for the pedestrian on his side, I saw the red light on the officer's side on the street, I just didn't see any sirens coming out of his bike. All I could really do was chuckle and go back to reading my book.

The next thing that happened wasn't really amusing, it was actually highly distressing and disturbing, When I walked around the corner on a particular week, I noticed a huge mess of sirens and lights down the street from my stop. I figured I'm going to be stuck waiting for awhile waiting for the bus to show up, because the whole street was blocked off, might as well go check it out. When I got there I saw a Pickup truck with a smashed front end, and then I saw what looked like my mothers car caved in from the front end. I started to Panic and I ran towards the accident and I actually threw a cop on the ground trying to get there before 2 others restrained me and informed me that it wasn't my mother who was dead and then pointed to the body of a 16 year old drunk driver who wasn't wearing his seatbelt and got ejected when he hit the truck. After explaining that my mother has the same model and color car they understood where I was coming from and after apologizing profusely to the cop I threw down, I walked back to the bus stop to chew through a few filters.

Over the weeks not really much happened at the bus stop that's worth mentioning here until the last two times I've had to take the bus. On a Monday night a homeless guy sat down next to me and started talking to me about how they refused to sell him coffee and that everything in the city is designed to make people miserable so they buy more things and that it's an endless cycle and if he was in charge, he would make changes for the people, not for McDonalds. I started thinking that for a guy who smells like a pile of dogshit, He certainly has more common sense then our ruling government. I figured the fact that he was covered with Chemical Burns and scabs on his face from Meth use isn't going to help him get into office anytime soon so I gave him two dollars to get something off the dollar menu somewhere and gave him a cigarette, When the bus came I shuffled toward the open standing spot as fast as I can so I could get out of there in either direction away from him. They Bus Driver wouldn't even let him on the bus because he leaves garbage all over the busses, so he took him down to the next stop and threw him off the bus. I said to the bus driver after he pulled away from the stop "That guy's gonna be Mayor of Las Vegas" and the driver almost pulled over because he was laughing so hard.

Wednesday definetly had to be the most amusing Bus Stop story I have to share with everyone. Because one it's so rediculous that you would have to understand that even Dean Koontz coundn't come up with something like this and that it extended past the bus. I sat at the bus stop and some kid can't be more then 20 staggers up to the stop and sits down.

He does not say a peep to me and suddenly he starts projectile vomiting allover himself, the sidewalk, and the street. The Busstop starts to reek of puke and bananas and immediatly he reaches his hand covered in bile out to me and says "My Name is Woodstock" Understandably I said "I'm Virus and I'm not going to shake your hand" He asks me what I do for a living and I told him I do security for a nightclub and he told me that he's a Bartender. We pretty much left it at that, so for the next 35 minutes, it was Me, Woodstock, and Woodstocks Vomit sitting in silence while cops, trucks full of illegal immigrants, and Need for Speed Wannabies drove by. When we got on the Bus he staggered into the back of the bus and I stood in my usual spot. Woodstock got off at the Albertsons down the line, and By the time we reached the nursery, the "Stop Requested" message gets displayed and it was only me and 3 other people on the bottom level of the bus. When we make the stop there. One Hispanic person came down, Then another, and Another, and Another, and Another, and then Another... a few more times. I counted and 9-10 people wound up getting off at that stop.

The first thought that came to mind was of the clowns jumping out of the little car at the circus and I started laughing. Of course now the night couldn't be complete without me being mistaken for a suspicious person by the police, and of course, When I'm about a block from my house, I got a rock in my boot so I took off my boot to get the offending piece of earth out of my shoe and suddenly a bright light gets shined in my face and I look up and see a Metro unit driving away from me and suddenly a huge U-Turn occurs and the lights and the squak box are lit up. The officer gets out of the car in an awful fast hurry and asks me what I'm doing and I simply said "I'm going home" and the usual procedures occur with the patting down, the standard questions, The Background check. We all know the deal we've watched "Cops" enough.

While he's doing the check on me, He asks me if I'm related to a Jennifer McNeil and I told him "No, I have one sister and her name definetly isn't Jennifer" he replied "Ok because Jennifer is in alot of trouble and we've been looking for her for awhile" Once everything was cleared on my end, The officer explained that usually around this area, there's been an increase in grafitti activity and me walking around at 4 AM with a messenger bag wearing all black just made him curious. I let him know that it's understandable and It was ok, then He told me that if I get stopped again tonight, to not be surprised because tonight's the night when Trainee's go out with experienced officers and if I do get stopped, I'll have to be handcuffed and go through the ringer once or twice before they'll let me go on your way. Nothing like being a test dummy I suppose.

I'm starting to love public transportation more and more as time goes by....

I think I'm going to start bringing one of my guns with me...

This is Virus.EyE
Last Survivor of the Nostromo
Signing off....


P.S. Jennifer McNeil, The Police are looking for you