Love is a funny thing.  When it comes to love sometimes my heart and my mind don't feel the same way. I may know in my mind what I should do, but my mind can't tell my heart how to feel.

And it's funny how everyone always has advice on what you should do in regards to love.  People always know what they SHOULD do with their minds…it's just a different story when it comes to their actions. That's why I try not to shell out any advice and I never solicit it either…because I know what I HAVE to do, but most of the time I might not listen to my mind, but listen to my heart instead.

That's why love sometimes makes people crazy.  I think love is the only emotion that can provoke other emotions. You can love someone but at the same time be angry, sad, or happy.  It can also be like a drug.  For instance when you are happy in love, it can be a feeling of euphoria.  But adversely love can be destructive as well.  It can bring on feelings of jealousy and violence in some.  Or the loss of love can be like coming down from a drug and you can go into a mode of depression.

I always happen to love the wrong ones.  I am never interested in the men that will be dedicated and devoted to me…that would be too much like right.  It's always the ones that are opposite that I am attracted to, and vice versa.  The worse I treat someone, the more drawn to me they are. 'Like a moth to a flame burned by the fire'.  Love is a complicated game. 

Don't get me wrong, I am glad to have had the opportunity to have loved.  What is it they say 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"?  There is some truth to that.  I am glad for the experience, but dang if it doesn't hurt when you loose at the game of love.

I guess that is why I am so guarded with my heart.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever love again.  Only because it hurt so much the first time.  That's why I have been so callous in relationships I have been in since my first love. If I have a 'what the F***" attitude, then maybe I won't get hurt.  It has actually worked for the most part.  I say for the most part only because it is natural to develop feelings for someone the more time you spend with them.

But like someone told me, love is about taking risks.  I agree with that.  But it's hard to let your guard down, when someone has their guard up too. Like I tell men I have dated…I am not all the women in your life who has caused you pain.  But at the same token I am not willing to let my guard down for fear that I will get hurt. So we both want the other to give in, but not willing to make sacrifices. 

That's the thing about love.  Love is about sacrifices. I want someone who is willing to sacrifice for me and in turn I will do the same. I don't just want someone who is "IN LIKE" with me.  "IN LIKE" will usually fade away but LOVE is forever.  Well it should be anyway.  Love should be unconditional.  Even though you may not always like that person, you will always love that person.