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Autumn Ayers



Last Updated: 11/16/2009

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Status: Single
City: Pittsburgh
State: Pennsylvania
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/30/2005

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Friday, February 08, 2008 

Category: Religion and Philosophy

There is wisdom in this world. Some of it conventional, and some not so. Much of it touts very obvious things like "Being here now" and "Loving things as they are" as the all-too-simple secrets to finding that lifelong sought deep and enduring happiness. "Be yourself" for instance, is a favorite of mother's and theater camp audition coaches, and worse "JUST be yourself" – as if that were something a person could either avoid or aspire to, as if there was anything simple about being one's self, as if it were something one could JUST do, or not.

Rob Bresny, my guru du jour, and certainly the most entertaining writer of weekly horoscopes I've ever happened upon, quoted someone quoting Christ in his interpretation of my current Geminian status in the stars: "If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you."

And I have this to say to that: No shit. And sometimes both, right? Won't we be destroyed either way, really? I mean free or not. Just look at what happened to Jesus. That these platitudes piss me off does not mean I think they are not true.

And I JUST am a mess, among other things. My hair is a mess, my apartment is a despicable trash heap, my life is suddenly weirdly empty of complications to still be as big of a mess as it turns out to be. I come from a really stunningly messy family and have always aspired to be less of a mess than they. But there it is. What is that about apples and the trees they fall from?

So, if  I'm seeking enlightenment in the wise words of aged hippies, as I often find myself to be, then I am to love this mess that I am, embrace it, wallow in it, right? Does that mean I should or should not go ice-skating in the freezing rain? When what I want to do is stare at my greasy hair and newly budded lipzit in the huge 4'x 5' mirror I bought so I wouldn't feel like the only life-sized human in my apartment after my live-in lover of 5 years moved out, feel sorry for myself, and then pop enough Sleep Aids to keep me feverish for 10 or 12 hours?

See the problem is, the really true, really big answers to the really big questions just don't help much with the small, inconsequential questions that fill up most moments of a lifetime. At least, that's how it looks to me from here, now.  
Denny

 
Forgive me in advance for my responses to your blog entry; but here goes (I'll refer to your paragraphs by paragraph number, rather than re-quoting all of your blog.)

Paragraph 1:
Wisdom in this world? I detect only opinions. Wisdom is elusive, and debatable.

Paragraph 2:
Be yourself? I believe that few people actually practice the "Be yourself." philosophy. Everyone I know tempers this with what the listener/reader can accept. Even my mother and former lovers were not completely candid. We all temper what we see as truth, with what the listener/reader can accept.

Paragraph 3:
Won't we be destroyed either way? If you believe in life after death (eternal life / reincarnation / etc.), then any suffering that we encounter in this life is a blink of the eye - a spit in the ocean. If you believe that our existence ends with death, then anything goes; and for some people this, sadly, is the TRUTH. I am not presumptive enough to believe that I know the TRUTH. And I'm less presumptive to believe that someone else's truth is the TRUTH.

Paragraph 4:
What is that about apples and trees they fall from? Maybe apples don't fall far from their trees, but birds will eat seeds and shit them out miles away. On the upside, birds seldom eat whole apples, so the apple story might hold true unless a bear eats the apple and shits it out miles away before it is digested.

Paragraph 5:
Aged hippies? Well I've been accused of being an aged hippie (likely because of my uncut, unkempt hair), but I ask, "What is a hippie?" & "What is aged?" If you have long hair, are you a hippie? Or does one have to smoke weed? Do acid or 'shrooms?
Embrace it or wallow in it? What's the difference? If you step in dog shit, do you embrace it or wallow in it? I scrape it off my shoe and walk on. No more, no less.
Ice skating in the freezing rain? It's better than skating on a foot of snow. Freezing rain might be less comfortable than snow, but try skating on snow.
Lipzit? My Oxford dictionary doesn't include this word, so I plead ignorance - which is not an unusual occurrence w/ me.
I try not to look at myself in the mirror, because if I see someone on the street with looks similar to my own, my cultural upbringing kicks in; and I think I'm looking at some aged hippie who is some Viet Nam veteran who is homeless. Throw the mirror out the door. I got myself a cat to replace any human companionship I feel I need.
Don't get me wrong; she reminds me of all my former lovers. Some days I say, "I love you." and she purrs. Some days I say. "I love you." and she growls. This is not just human nature, it is the nature of the beast.
Sleep aids? Are you willing to share? I'll share my OLD CROW bourbon (which lasts about 6-8 hours) w/ your magic potion that lasts 10-12 hours.

Paragraph 6:
BIG QUESTIONS - BIG ANSWERS? There are no easy questions. There are no easy answers. Ask Newton & Galileo. Ask Jesus. Ask Martin Luther King. Ask JFK & RFK. Ask the Dali Lama.

ASK YOURSELF; "Am I happy with my life?"

For thinking people, the answer is: NO!

Why not? That is what you need to ask.

Good luck on your search. You'll need it.

-Denny
 
Posted by Denny on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 1:07 AM
[Reply to this
Denny

 
Correcting my own alcohol influenced response:

My response labeled as "Paragraph 3" should be added to my Paragraph 2 response. To amend my response, I should add that the name Jesus (Latinized persona) is a man's name, whereas Christ is a DIVINE TITLE. It is similar to MESSIAH, MASTER, GURU, LORD, ALLAH (my death sentence, ala Rushdie etc.)

I'll let it to history to decide if Jesus was/is the true MESSIAH.

Do I believe he was a prophet? I believe we are all prophets.
If my memory servers me correctly - and I'm paraphrasing this: Terrance McKenna said; "It's not hard to hear voices in your head. The problem is determining if they speak the truth."
Maybe it was Timothy Leary, but I believe it was McKenna

MORE TO COME ... >>>>>>>>>

-Denny
 
Posted by Denny on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 4:21 AM
[Reply to this
Denny

 
BTW:
You mentioned "Being here now"
There was a book published before you were born entitled "Be Here Now"
It was written by Dr. Richard Albert, a colleague of Timothy Leary (DO YOUR HOMEWORK).
He is also known as Babba Ram Dass.
Read it, but you will still have to decide if he speaks the TRUTH.

There are no easy questions. There are no easy answers.

You decide.

-Denny
 
Posted by Denny on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 4:36 AM
[Reply to this
Autumn Ayers

 
Wow, Denny. Glad to see I ignited such a fire in your belly that you felt the need not only to reply and critique my mad rantings, but THREE times.
I know the book Be Here Now. I know Ram Dass. Personally. He's a friend of my fathers.
No, not really, but if you knew the way my Dad talked about him my whole life, you would forgive my confusion at believing so. Whenever I had a problem or a question or pretty much a conversation with my Dad he would quote Ram Dass. I came to think of him as my uncle, the monk. Ram Dass is actually THE aged hippie to whom I refer.
Are YOU familiar with the wise words of aging rapper Marshall Mathers, AKA Eminem and sometimes Slim Shady, "I am whatever they say I am, If I wasn't than why would I say I am?"
That's pretty much how I feel about Messiahs and prophets and gurus (oh my!): All right, if you say so. To Jesus, or Mohammed, David Koresh, Dr. Phil, whatev man, I say, "Great. Hope that works out for you."
Lip zit. A zit at or about one's lip. Maybe better understood as two words. Forgive me. I made it up.
You're right about birds and bears and apples. I feel better. Thanks.
All in all, your response was enlightening and entertaining. You are a bit of a hoot, you know?
Thanks,
Autumn
 
Posted by Autumn Ayers on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 7:26 PM
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