Husband I have grown weary from searching
The cats that draw my chariot are ragged fur on pointed bone
The feathers of my cloak are moulting
The amber beads upon my neck have melted and turned to tears
like the tree tears from whence they came
Even our child’s smile is not enough to soothe me
Even my dearest jewel with her eyes aglitter and her voice of birds
For how will I care for her alone?
How will she learn the ways of love
Seeing only a weeping woman who has ceased to dance?
Here I sit, holding her in my arms, offering her my breast
But she does not know how I wander

I will become the silvered glint of dawn on the lake
I will become the pale blue flowered flax ripped from the soil, winnowed retted, scutched and heckled as you will
I will shape shift to animal
Rooting in the mud, exposing my raw teats to the hungry mouths of many fat, pink and snouted babes, running from the butcher’s blade
I will wear a disguise of my former beauty and go into the tent
I will spread my legs for any man that comes
And I will bleed and burn and dream of you

I will go down to hell and sit on a throne
I will wait through this long, long winter
Holding my child to my breast for comfort
But I remember how you and I danced on the bridge how the moon became my jewels afloat upon the water
How we heard the drums beating and the tree dripped amber and held our bodies as you entered me?
If this happened my love if I can remember this
Then all is not lost
What exists in my heart is as real as what my eyes see
In the dark chambers  I sit
And breathe in the memory of the spring that evermore awaits