Time to pick out my favorite movies of the year. Unlike 2006, there were a whole slew of excellent movies that came out right at the verrrrrrrry end. SO, as usual, prepare to hate my top ten list.

1. Zodiac.
Why: Because David Fincher made the only three hour talking head movie that never once caused me to look at what time it was on my cell phone. Too bad this movie tanked.

2. Spider-Man 3
Why: You knew it was coming. I'm not going to pretend I had more fun at any movie this year. What were people expecting? The scene where Peter is strutting down the street infected by the symbiote goo and leering at all the NYC girls is priceless. Raimi is a genius. How couldn't people LOVE this movie?

3. Southland Tales
Why: Because nobody rocks the cock like Krysta Now.

4. There Will Be Blood
Why: As soon as the eerie, nerve-wracking music kicked on over a shot of an empty valley, this movie had sucked me in.

5. No Country For Old Men
Why: When I walked out of the theater I felt cheated. Really fucking cheated. Like I'd just lost my wife to a guy in a poker game who busted out five Aces. Then, I thought some more and realized that's probably what the Coen Brothers wanted.

6. Gone Baby Gone
Why: a well-plotted thriller with one of the tensest scenes of the year. Ben Affleck fucking rules.

7. Knocked Up
Why: Hilarious and probably more moving than most dramas I've seen in the past year.

8. Death Sentence
Why: Extreme violence and Kevin Bacon going after a gaggle of sadistic thugs... How couldn't I love it?

9. Rescue Dawn
Why: It's just good. I liked it a lot. Bale is terrific as is Steve Zahn. Herzog is a master pure and simple.

10. Hot Fuzz
Why: This could have been my number one movie of the year if they'd just killed some fucking people at the end! Ahhhhhh! So frustrating.

11. Ghost Rider
Why: Because it sucked. A lot.

Some movies I thought were bullshit...

1. Michael Clayton
Why: Before I walked into this movie people were saying 'this restored my faith in movies'. Uhhhh, if a tedious political thriller centered around the flattest character George Clooney has played since the lead in Return to Horror High restores your faith in cinema, I think you should stop watching movies.

2. Escape From New York remake
Why: Yeah, it hasn't come out yet, but what the fuck? Len Wiseman? Brett Ratner? That jerk from 300. This sounds more like my worst nightmare than a movie with any potential.

3. Dan In Real Life
Why: Ladies and gentlemen, the fastest walk-out in Jackson Stewart history. I sat through this for exactly seven minutes before realizing any other movie in the theater would have been a better choice.

4. Grindhouse
Why: Aside from Stuntman Mike's excellent kill in Death Proof, the fantastic Thanksgiving trailer and a couple fun moments in Planet Terror this was totally horrible. No self-respecting exploitation fan enjoys these piles of shit. Furthermore, watch Umberto Lenzi's Nightmare City to see Robert Rodriguez' 'inspiration' for Planet Terror.

I'm too angry. I'm finished.