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I met up with the diminutive Coco Cabana in her spacious New York City apartment that has long served as home base
for Two Minutes in Heaven. Of course, regular readers of Folk World Monthly will recall that soon after the
announcement of TMiH's hiatus, Miss Cabana joined the Online International Ukulele Orchestra at their super secret
studio, The Marmalade Forest.
Miss Cabana's departure from that group remained a mystery...until today..
FWM: Coco, could you tell us about how you got involved with the OIUO?
Coco: Gladly. As you know, after I actually met Bret and Jemaine my core belief that Bret was the only one for me was
so shaken that I thought it would be good to get back to basics and spend some quality time around my kind of people.
Most members of the OIUO are Bretaholics, so I figured I'd fit right in. Which I did! I mean, their band mascot is a
rainbow excreting unicorn...and I actually OWN a unicorn! It was meant to be! They helped me see that these
feelings I had for Jemaine were but a passing fancy. Things got a little crazy after a while what with the rampant
VapoRub abuse within the group, and the well publicized Pixie Stick Incident...not to mention the jealousy
surrounding the ukies...
FWM: I'm sorry...I'm not familiar with the term...ukies?
Coco: Oh, ukele orchestra groupies. And then the final straw came when I caught SarBear Extraordinaire with MY
Bret blow up doll. I mean, come on! Some things should remain sacred...even amongst uke sisters.
FWM: Oh dear! Was there a sporking?
Oh no...I could never spork dear SarBear. But I did get a little loud and words were exchanged. I felt bad about it
and I tried to atone by knitting pink tights for all the members.
FWM: That's a lot of tights!
Coco: Tell me about it! I ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome. Why, for the last month I was with them,
I could only hold my uke and hum along...it was sad! Then I got the call about reuniting with Two Minutes in Heaven,
and...I don't know, it just feels like the time is right. Those ladies know that when the sporks come out,
it's nothing personal. I'm so looking forward to it. It'll be just like coming home.
We, at Folk World Monthly, couldn't have put it better ourselves.
My personal TMiH tour ends with a visit to beautiful and exotic Cincinnati, where I sat down with Miss Sugar Kaine
at a local coffee shop.
FWM: Sugar, it seems like you've fallen completely off the radar. What have you been up to since TMiH went on hiatus?
Sugar: Well, I spent a lot of time riding the rails. I wanted to get back in touch with my vagabond roots.
FWM: Did it work?
Sugar: I think so. However, I knew it was time to come home when some bum broke the Hobo Code and stole
my giant polka dot handkerchief.
FWM: That's terrible. Any idea who did it?
Sugar: I suspect it was Sausage Patty. She always coveted that handkerchief. Anyway, that's life on the road for you.
Anyway, shortly after I got home, I had 8 little additions to the Kaine Klan, so I've been quite busy.
FWM: 8?? Octuplets?
Sugar: Yes, they were all born on the same day.
FWM: Wow! That really IS news! Do you have pictures?
Sugar: Oh, I have better than that. (Miss Kaine reached into her large leather sachel and pulled out a lap top)
...I'll show you our webcam.
FWM: Webcam?
Sugar: Sure. I'm very protective of them, as you can well imagine, so I like to be able to look in on them all the time.
This will come in quite handy when TMiH hit the road, too.
She opened the webcam, and I grinned to see eight darling puppies squirming around in a large indoor pen.
FWM: OH! Do they have names?
Sugar: (pointing to each one in turn)...This is Honey. Then we have Jemma, Jemima, Jemmica, Jasmaine,
Jemmifer and Jemaidan. FWM: And the tiny dark one in the corner?
Sugar: Isn't she the sweetest thing? She's the runt. I call her Bretina.
So, it would appear that the gorgeous ladies of TMiH have continued to lead unconventional lifestyles, even away from
the folk parody scene (and would we have expected anything less?). As they busily prepare to hit the stage again in all
their sparkly unitarded, feather boa-ed glory, we can oly wish them well, and wait (along with the rest of the folking world)
in breathless anticipation for whatever they decide to do next.
4:09 PM
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