I have found that only one thing remains true to my life no matter how long I think on it. It is a horrible thing to be a blank man. I have no real expression, no real emotion, no position in society, no ideals in politics, no great morale standing, and nothing above a slight average temperament in knowledge. If one was to ask me a question there wouldn't be a straight answer or quick wit to be put behind it, just a blank stare and sorrow in my heart for not knowing. Not understanding. I can see, I can interpret, but I cannot hold, withstand, advance. I cannot transcend into the great shoes of those who came before me. I cannot focus on any one study. I cannot be great. I cannot be. What is the sense of desire with no ambition? What have I when I have ambition but no ability to pursue? Studying for an opinion becomes nothing but a straight folly and forming ideas from facts and events leads to where I cannot compare to others. Is my understanding far less complicated or too intricate to be expressed? How do I fix the path which I have already preceded? What do I do to get back on track? How do I fix my wayward path and focus on that which does not interest me to further advance my intellectual abilities? Is there no solution that contains no medical involvement? Ambition alone is not my drive.