Friday, November 21, 2008 - St. Louis, MO

We broke camp from Tulsa without getting breakfast, which always makes Dan a little cranky.  Dude loves his eggs and bacon, no doubt.  A little down the trail, we stop at the worlds largest McDonald's (Interstate 44, Vinita, OK).  At least, it used to be.  This behemoth of a fast-food restaurant straddles the highway, which makes for an intersting dining experience.  But, it is a McDonald's.  Brett comments that the burger meat is gray.  We have now defined how two colors taste on this tour.


hellboy and i, choking down mcdonalds.

When we rolled into St. Louis, Kyle needed to stop somewhere to get a strap for his saxophone.  He called a Guitar Center and was denied ("Dude, it's GUITAR Center"), but referred to a place called SaxQuest.  We found our way down there and the clerk whose job was ostensibly to help Kyle would not get off the phone for 10 minutes.  What a douche.


hey, what's that arc looking thing over there?

Dan had been going on about St. Louis BBQ for some time, only to find out that he was actually thinking of Kansas City.  D'oh.  We ended up going to Pappy's Smokehouse (3106 Olive St.) whose claim to fame is that they don't really have a closing time, so much as they have an "out of meat" time - when they run out of meat, they close.  Dan performs a "meat check" on the way over, just in case.  When we show up, they're out of ribs, but making more.  Lucky us: these ribs are the bomb.  Their other meats are OK - Dan played the Salt Lick card to get a free taste of brisket - but the ribs were exceptional.  Also, deep fried corn and sweet potato fries are on the menu, both worth checking out.


if there was ever a need for a spokesmodel for barbecue ribs...

Brett's bass player in the Cabdrivers, Jason, met up with us after our BBQ session and we went over to Lemmon's for the show.  He drove two-and-a-half hours to see us play, which is pretty admirable - we're kinda numb to long drives at this point, but that's nothing to sneeze at.  Dan thinks this place is the most "Midwest" place we've played in a long time, and I tend to agree.  It's a little divey, but has character.

INSIDE BASEBALL: OK, we found the trump card to the P&P.  It's called the Triple S: secure, secluded, and *sanitary*.  Lemmon's throws a fakeout on first glance, as the downstairs facility is high-traffic, wide-open, and disgusting.  However, they have private party rooms upstairs, and the shitter up there is a perfect 3xS.  Hell, you can lock the door AND the shitter stall for extra security.  And clean too: sometimes you'll abide a little grime for a private deuce, but this was not the case here.  4 stars (made of TP squares, of course)

Kyle orders a pizza (the bar is giving it to us for free).  It's Chicago-style and huge.  We dare not touch it before the show, lest we become sluggish.  Instead, we watch the Blind Eyes (myspace.com/theblindeyes) who totally rip it up.  It reminds Kyle and me a lot of Ted Leo or The Natural History, which is a good place to be.  Turns out their guitar player Seth is a Bowling Green, Ohio native and knows a bunch of people I do.  Small fuckin' world.

OK, I haven't been commenting in detail on a lot of our sets on this tour, mostly because I don't want to come off as an arrogant, self-centered prick, but we fucking rocked it in St. Louis.  The stage sound was perfect.  We played our asses off and nailed that shit (Dan was on a borrowed drum kit, but he sounded great).  The crowd was really digging it, even giving us some back and forth in the between song banter.  This show was super, super fun.  I had heard some St. Louis horror stories, so I came in with the expectation bar set low, but I was blown away by how great this show, this bar, and these people were.  We are totally coming back, ASAP.


killing it in st. louis.

Bunnygrunt (myspace.com/therealbunnygrunt) finished this show off with an awesome, rockin' set.  Jason, their guitar player, was so enthralled with Kyle's guitar tone during our set that he asked to borrow the Peavey for their set - Kyle obliged, of course.  After loading out, we make a short jaunt to yet another Jason's house (this one, an old friend of Kyle's from Dayton, formerly in the amazing A Ten O'Clock Scholar and currently in The Male Models (myspace.com/themalemodels) so we can crash out for the night.


bunnygrunt: so fun.

We get up early - for tour standards - at 7:30 so we can hit the road for Chicago.  Jason snuck out before we even got up to buy us donuts and make us French press coffee.  Aw, shucks.  Dude, you and Kara are the greatest.


Saturday, November 22, 2008 - Chicago, IL

As previously mentioned, we jetted from St. Louis early and at my insistence.  Whenever I'm in Chicago, I *must* eat at Hot Doug's (3324 N. California Ave.).  Problem is they close at 4 in the afternoon, there's always a ridiculous line, and we woke up 5 hours away.  I made a deal with everybody that they could all sleep on the way to Chi-town and I would drive the early leg.  I get us to Normal (what are they trying to hide?) before Hellboy takes over.

After a quick pit stop at a local Target, we get in line at Hot Doug's.  The wait is just about an hour.  It's fucking freezing out there, but luckily, the building is blocking the wind, for the most part.  I'm starting to get a little nervous: I know Hot Doug's is amazing, but if these guys are disappointed, my ass is grass.  People in line are bitching about waiting in line to get a hot dog.  They don't get it... yet.


it's just like tom petty said...

Finally, we're in the door and that's when the menu takes hold.  What do I choose with options like these?

-Chardonnay and Jalapeño Rattlesnake Sausage with Ancho-Lime Mayonnaise and Smoked Gouda Cheese
-Mandarin-Orange and Teriyaki Chicken Sausage with Sweet Peppadew Dijonnaise and Esrom Cheese
-Über Garlic Beef Sausage with Roasted Garlic Dijonnaise and Wild Garlic Havarti Cheese
-Brandy-Infused Smoked Portuguese Chorizo with Saffron Rouille and Bucherolle Cheese
-Veal Bratwurst with Horseradish Cream Sauce and Applewood-Smoked Cheddar Cheese
-Onion Pork Sausage with Bacon-Garlic Mayonnaise, Duck-Grand Marnier Paté and Truffle-Balsamic Cream
-The Atomic Bomb: Spicy Pork Sausage with Sweet Chipotle Mustard and Finnish Lappi Cheese
-Antelope Sausage with Cassis Crème Fraîche and Danish Fontina Cheese
-Cilantro-Chipotle Smoked Chicken Sausage with Mole à la Carlos and Cotija Cheese

WHAT THE FUCK, DOUG?!?!?!?  Would you prefer to take all my money on a debit card, or in a terrycloth sack with a dollar sign printed on the outside?

I suggest everyone get a regular Chicago dog, one specialty sausage, and we split two orders of duck-fat french fries: Dan and Brett each get the Onion Pork with the duck paté, Kyle gets the Über Garlic Beef Sausage, and I go for the Rattlesnake.  One bite from each of us, and the wait becomes worth it.  What a phenomenal restaurant.  We each spend about $14, eat like gourmands, and walk out happy.  You must go here.


ONE OF US!  ONE OF US!  ONE OF US!


dan and i successfully talked kyle out of putting ketchup on his chicago dog.


pommes frites en gras de canard?  get the duck out of here...

We've got time to kill, so we check out Chicago Music Exchange, which is basically what Dan's vision of heaven must be.  He's so busy checking out vintage guitars and amps that he doesn't find out about their pristine 3xS until it's too late.  We head toward Wicker Park to wander around.  Brett stays in the van to slip into a meat coma, so the rest of us hit up Quimby's bookstore and Reckless Records.  At some point, we realize that we didn't leave Brett the keys to the van (hence, no heat), so we shuffle on back.

Once again, we show up at a locked club (3 times... damn, we're punctual), though they come to unlock it about 5 minutes after we show up.  Ronny's is a weird little spot: basically a tiny neighborhood bar with an attached "garage" where they let bands play.  You don't have to pay to drink there, but you do have to pay to see bands.  They don't really hook up the bands (I think we each got one drink ticket and several "accidental" overcharges), but a place to play is a place to play, I guess.  The Spectacles (myspace.com/thspectacles) start off the show with a nice electro-pop set.  I have to admit that I missed most of it, as I was a) watching Oklahoma embarass Texas Tech, b) chatting, and c) getting drunk.  That said, I got tapped out of a great conversation by three Sowashes in a row, like they wanted me to go do something.  Oh right, I play guitar in this band.  We're a little sloppy, but the kids are alright.  The Prairie Spies (myspace.com/theprairiespies) play after us and rock it, big time.  I heard somebody say that this was their last show - damn, I hope not.  I hope that was just somebody saying something.  Somebody says a lot of things.


rock over london, rock on chicago. peavey: it's loud as fuck in here.


prairie spies.

INSIDE BASEBALL: File under small world after all - Brett's old college roommate from OU is a dude named Egan, who went to high school with yours truly.  He came out to the show with his wife.  I haven't seen him in 11 years.  He looks 11 years older.  I probably do too.  Fuck.

After the show, we head over to Kyle's sister-in-law's place to crash out.  We have stayed in some pretty marginal places on this tour (happily, I might add - anything's better than sleeping in the van), but Rachel's place is like a 4-star hotel.  So comfy, so clean, and a big screen TV to boot.  Awesome!

We get to sleep in for a little while before heading out for lunch.  We got a few recommendations, but decided on Kuma's Corner (2900 W. Belmont Ave.).  Kuma's is basically a metal bar with a chef, and they serve some of the best burgers in Chicago (and big too, 10 oz. patties), almost all of which are named after metal bands.  We listen to Mastodon and Dillinger Escape Plan in the van to get fired up.  This is another long wait (an hour to get a table and another half to get food), but again, worth it.  Dan gets the Yob (myspace.com/yobdoom - Smoked Gouda, Bacon, Roasted Red Peppers, Roasted Garlic Mayo), Kyle gets the Neurosis (myspace.com/officialneurosis - Cheddar, Swiss, Sautéed Mushrooms, Caramelized Onions, Horseradish Mayo), Hellboy gets the Melvins (myspace.com/themelvins - Fresh Basil, Prosciutto, Mozzarella, Tomato, Onion) and I get the High On Fire (myspace.com/highonfireslays - Siracha Hot Chili Sauce, Prosciutto, Roasted Red Pepper, Grilled Pineapple, Sweet Chili Paste).  THROW UP THE HORNS!!!


best. burger. names. ever.


the high on fire.  oh, sweet satan...


Sunday, November 23, 2008 - Bloomington, IN

We don't really realize that we're running late until we get about halfway there.  That's when it's Dan's turn to shine.  If you want to get somewhere fast.  He's your man.  We make up enough ground that by time we get to Uncle Fester's, it's still locked up.  we have been officially too early for rock and roll 25% of the time on this tour.

Looking to kill time, we wander up the street to discover Kimya Dawson playing at the local theater and Dustin Diamond (TV's "Screech") at the comedy club.  We're not feeling too great about turnout on a Sunday night as there is *no one* out on the streets but us.  We find a coffee shop with a 3xS (last of the tour) and then head back.  Brett, Kyle and I get a bite from Cafe Pizzaria (405 E. Kirkwood Ave.).  We're intrigued by the possibility of stromboli, but when it's brought to us, it's clear that they have no idea what a stromboli is (a turnover, not a sandwich).  Still it fills the void.  Not the best way to go out on this mammoth food tour, but there have been a lot more highs than lows.

Uncle Fester's is laid out a little bit like the Subterranean in Chicago, where there's a stage and a floor downstairs and a horseshoe balcony upstairs.  It's a really neat place to play, actually. (My friend Paul, who used to go to IU, told me otherwise.  He was wrong...)  Lacey Brown (myspace.com/laceybrown) opened the show and didn't stick around too much longer thereafter.  Her loss.  This was the bittersweet, last show of tour for us, and we took full advantage.  No holds barred.  Leave it all on stage.  We got a really good reception from the Bloomington kids, and it made all the difference.  We were kinda on the edge about this show, but I'm so glad it all went the way it did.  The last thing anybody wants is to end a tour on a downer.

Husband & Wife (myspace.com/husbandwife) - man, what can I say - these guys are amazing.  Really good dudes, really great musicians.  We played with them once at Carabar, and I was really impressed then, but seeing them rock the hometown was just beautiful.  Morrow (myspace.com/weatherprophets) finished up the night with a surprisingly rocking set that I enjoyed a lot.

Hellboy got drafted into driving us home overnight.  I slept the entire way, but I'm pretty sure he demolished the entire 4 hour drive by himself.  We unloaded the van at Kyle's house and went our separate ways.

Stats:
18 days
16 shows
38 other bands
13 bars
2 diy spaces
1 record store
12 crash pads
1 hotel room
4 bbq dinners
2 fast foods
1 home cooked meal
5000 miles
0 seconds spent in arkansas


probably not, actually...