"Like a coming of age I am learning how to say/all the failures I'm dragging behind/finding freedom to speak, freedom to release/tonight I want to make peace with you..."  from "Share in the Blame" by Sandra McCracken

I've been struggling with forgiveness this week.  I need it.  I messed up.  I asked forgiveness for it.  I got no response. 

It left me feeling sad and wanting that forgiveness more intensely as time went by.  I don't know the other person's perspective, but I sure can't read minds.  I can't force anyone to do anything.   All this got me thinking about forgiveness and about how much God has forgiven me.

How wonderful He is to not hold out His forgiveness from me.  He takes me back always.  And my offense towards Him is so much graver than anything I have done to any person.  I only hope that the next time (and there will be many) that I fail, I will seek out His forgiveness this urgently.  It makes it that much sweeter to come back.

These thoughts and realizations seem to make the situation with the person who isn't forgiving ok to me.  A sweet friend of mine remarked that this truth should also make it easier for me to forgive myself --which maybe is what I've been struggling with, too.

I hope I never get over or forget the magnitude of God and that forgiveness.