I DID say I was done blogging on here. Well, alot of things have happened in my life the last 3 months and I wanted to share them here publically.

God himself thru His Son Jesus is doing amazing things in my life. I am a living testimony to the goodness of God, the mercy of God, the kindness of God, and the overfilling abundance of His grace. I will praise Him till I die and seek His lovely presence always. I just had to say that. Sometimes I will explode if I don't let people know what is going on inside of me. The last couple days have been explosive.

I left Fresno early this week and I am now living in NY with my parents. They asked me to come back home and I snatched up the chance. They really reached out to me like never before. I had to go. God really moved to make them want me and to reach out like that.

I had extreme difficulty in Fresno finding a job. I am talking part-time, seasonal, craigslist, monster.com, begging places that I applied, etc. I applied at well over 200 places and got to around 6 interviews. Nothing panned out.

I had an absolute blast re-connecting with my brother and sister-in-law. They are really really awesome people and I loved hanging out with them for a few months. I really connected with their kids as well. Great family. I cannot say enough good about my younger (and better wrestler than me) brother. He loves Jesus with all his heart. He would die right now. I'm talking bullet in the head for Christ today. He is so passionate about living spirit-filled for the Lord. He is a total inspiration to me. Jill and him are my heros. I don't say that to be funny. I love Jill like my sister. She is such a great friend to me. I love them both dearly.

So New York is now. I will attempt to find work and grow in the Lord. As I was leaving Fresno I had various people pray over me. They mentioned things that were going to happen in my future that I had not even told them. They confirmed things. Um, that has never happened to me before. The assistant pastor at the church also confirmed in me that I needed to grow so much more. I need to pray hours daily, read and read and read...I need to suck up the Holy Spirit's presence. I already knew it and he said all the things God has already showed me. Seriously awakened my eyes to some stuff. The last men's group at the church before I left was extremely powerful to. God spoke to a man and let him know that He wanted 10% of his daily time. That is 2 hours and 40 minutes daily. Makes you really think. I am striving for this.

Okay, more things...I'll dump all the crazyness out together. I know most of the people who knew me before saw a "thinker" or a "sit on the sideline" quiet guy. Well I am that still I guess...that is my personality. I still sit and dwell, but it is about the things of God. The Holy Spirit himself has awakened this sleeping giant to the point that God himself is revealing major things to me. I can't keep my mouth shut. It is simply my testimony that is growing daily. Small example:

I was on the greyhound bus coming to NY from Fresno. It was 3103 miles on the bus to get to NY. I was on the bus day and night for almost 3 straight days. I planned ahead and had 2 and a half books on 2 Christian topics that I wanted to read. I almost did not get through them because God kept demanding me to pray. I left just after noon on Monday and basically prayed for the first hour. I brought my requests to God and pleaded with Him. He assured me that He heard my requests. It was awesome. He was not done with me yet. I stopped praying and He asked me if I wanted more. I said yes. He encouraged me to see the trinity in it's parts as I continued to pray. He first showed how to further use the Holy Spirit in my prayers and urging the spirit on. It was awesome. I saw the Holy Spirit going inside a person's body that I was praying for and reach inside their chest and rub their heart. I actually saw that...it was awesome. I was weeping and they guy next to me had to put on headphones. Um...I can't make this stuff up. It is quite rediculous. Secondly he showed me Jesus standing to my left. I walked up to him and felt His hair with my right hand and gave Him a hug. I thanked Him for dying in my place. I apologized for being a disgrace to him. He said nothing. He just stood there. And then it was over.

I spent like 90% of the bus ride in reading and prayer seeking God's face and singing praise songs in my head. It was an unbelievable trip. There was more revelation. God is answering prayer.

Before I left for the trip, Jill spoke a really good word to me. I don't want to go into detail about it, but it was totally a God thing. She lightly and gently warned me and set me up successfully going to NY. God used her tremendously. I praise God she spoke truth into me the night of my leaving. It was great.

It was hard leaving Fresno. In my flesh I didn't want to leave. I will miss Darren, Jill, Trever, Chelsea, and Bri. What a great family. God accomplished in me exactly what was suppossed to happen in Fresno. I saw two visions, had a dream, got my prayer language, finished a long fast and had 3 powerful men of God lay hands on me and pray only to confirm things that they could not of known.

God has showed me one last thing on the bus. He told me very specifically that if I did not take Him seriously that he would absolutely destroy things in my life. He has shown me as much as I care to explain here, that He has a tremendous plan for my life. I know part of it and the rest will be revealed at His time. I understand that I probably am looked at as a freak or maybe even fake. God knows my heart. I love His son more than anything on earth. I had so so many idols: DJing, fame, wealth, possessions, my body(working out), money, you name it. I put so much in front of God. I will NEVER do it again. If I have to destroy anything or remove anything to get remoldable for Him then I will.

Do I have blind faith...no...I have a blog that I started back in Santa Monica when I refound Christ. Amazing. I'll have to share that someday. Stupid stuff has happened the last 3 months. Someone gave me sneakers when I prayed all morning for them. Someone sent me an email of forgiveness when I prayed for their name specifically that day night and morning. I prayed over a homeless friend of mine to stop smoking Pot after 30-35 years and he quit cold-turkey.  I'm talking donkey talking Old Testament type miracles. I was seriously dumbfounded. No longer. I will refuse to underestimate the power of my Lord and King. He really is everything to me.

If you want to know more about Jesus and having a personal relationship with Him hit me up. I am not talking about the old Doug and Jesus relationship. I am talking about a very personal relationship with Jesus. What makes us think that God has less power on the earth than when he did in 70 AD when Paul was on his missionary journey. Has the power been turned off? I just always thought that we settled into this God heals sometimes and God can do this, but usually doesnt. I know Jesus has planted at least 3 dreams in my life that I remember. I had 2 visions, while I was awake. God is real and He will work tremendous things if we really seek him with a clean heart. I know I didn't have a pure, confessed sin heart for years. I do now. I still sin, but before I go to the throneroom I seek out Jesus and let Him know the ways I wronged His father. I plead for mercy and ask for total forgiveness. I know that when I pray there is NOTHING in the way of God hearing my total prayers. He has talked back. I pray for dreams, visions, and revelation. "God show yourself. I believe you are all-powerful." Do you believe that. I do. I am tired of playing games with God. I wanted to claim it here.

I will not fail you Jesus. You have my heart for life. I cling to the promises you have shown me about my life. I know I am created for worship and I will, I WILL praise you because I want to and you deserve it. God, if you do nothing ever again in my life, if I never get answered prayer, if I never hear from you again...I will praise you for eternity. You deserve it.