1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Either Matt, Matt, or Josh. Really, though, hearing Matt's voice is always nice.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Of course! And shame on the lazy asses that don't!

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Really, it varies depending on who else is talking and listening. I guess I listen on more occaisions, though.

4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
According to Eagle Scout Matt, no. According to Earth Science, for a little while.

5. Do you like to ride horses?
I've always been a little afraid of them, but now that my favorite horse is dying, I don't think I'll ever ride another one.

6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
No. Either there weren't any camps to go to, or they were all to expensive. Anyway, I was holding out for my own Camp Nowhere (but, who didn't? want one?)

7. What was your favorite board game as a kid?
None that I can remember. The only times I played board games where when my grandmother bought them from me at garage sales, then I went to my room and played them alone.

8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do?
Tell Matt and wait for the most opportune moment to give them the okay to strike. Or strike, myself.

9. Are you judgemental?
Yeah, kinda. I really shouldn't be.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I've usually been with open-minded, or agnostic (if nothing else) people. Now that I'm not (haha), and we disagree on a few topics, it's a bit of a test. I like the contrast. So, yes.

11. Are you continuing your education?
If I were to actually show up for school, then, yes, I'd be continuing my education. Consider my education...choppy, if you will.

12. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Some guns, but I can always pretend I know anyway.

13. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
That's horrible! For the sake of overall usefulness, I should grab my laptop, but god, how I'd hate not having a guitar. Or one of Matt's jackets, still.

14. How often do you read books?
Kindof rarely. I'll read the books that I really love many many times, but, yeah. Not the same as being an avid reader. (And, Katy, don't read Go Ask Alice! It's just so sad! Kind of enlightening, though)

15. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Present. I haven't bothered with the past in a long time, oddly enough. Except 3rd period studyhall breakfast with the two best seniors in the history of everything (<33).

16. What is your favorite children's book?
In A Deep, Deep, Dark, Dark Forest, or this book that we read in music class that was also on Reading Rainbow. It was some name and it ended in '-popo' or something and I remember it being really epic.

19. Where is your ideal house located?
(maybe, still?) Ottawa, near Sacramento ('cause great people come outta there), Fresno, or Canandaigua.

21.Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
hahahah, awww. yes. Well. I've done it twice. first time, stood up the whole time and felt stupid. Second time, made friends, haha.

23. What are your keys on your key chains for?
Uhm. Opening the plastic cases on the toilet paper at school, turning on the switchless lights at the school, getting into the Kalashnikov studio, and the rest is keychains ('cause Matt needed his key back. brr)

24. What did you do last night?
Had a great time, then had a horrible time, then had an okay time, then had a great time. Which had a great follow-up later today.

25. Where is your current pain at?
My gastro-intestinal system, 'cause sometimes farting is very hard to do.

26. Do you like mustard?
I love it. Sometimes I squirt it into my mouth straight up because I am a disgusting human being.

27. Do you like your mom or dad?
Not usually (but I like Katy's mom and dad, can I just use her answer?)

28. How long does it take you in the shower?
From twenty minutes to two hours. Depends on why I'm showering ('cause I always have reasons. It's complicated)

29. What movie do you want to see right now?
that Tommy Chong movie Dude brought over last night. Or else, get high and watch the wall tonight. 'Cause I fucking can.

30. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
uhm. what the fuck is the purpose of that? out of everything I've put my poor babies through, I've never...done that.

31. What did you do for New Year's?
throwing up what seemed like (and smelled like) every egg yolk I'd ever ingested, talking to my Sammee, and calling Matt at 11:59.

32. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
I thought it was dumb as fuck, but the imagery in it scared the shit out of me.

33. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes, but it's the ancient one that hasn't had service since verano del BAAG-o.

34. Whats the last letter of your middle name?
E.

35. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I didn't. And, now that the bald guy that I kinda liked has a CD, I hate listening to it in the car.

36. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
On weekdays, up to six. Sometimes, upwards of thirteenish.

37. Do you like care bears?
I watched the show/movies a lot, but didn't own many. I liked the rainy one.

38. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. Y-E-S. Yes.

39. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Most often, considering the nutbars that drive me places (and their affinities for them).

40. What do you wear to sleep?
Either one of the oversized band tees, or nothing. Matt's got me in the habit of doing the latter.

1. List 20 things you want to say to 20 different people but you know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again.

(only thing, though, I'm sure I've said these things to most of the people at whom they're directed. This will still be fun for me, though)


1. You're fat. You're fucking obese. Ridiculously so. It's unhealthy. It's gotten to the point where I'm not so much worried about you anymore as I am disgusted by you and your apathy toward it. Plus, I'm sure you're suffering from depression or something related, which only adds to the bulging bag full of reasons why you're not a very good (person in some degree of relation to me*).  We live in a hellhole. I've always ignored it when I've heard it, but after seeing (something you did), I've come to believe it. Whether or not I helped, you're a fucking adult. You're my fucking (*) and you should have enough responsibility to at least help keep a house constantly liveable (which, right now, it hardly is). I leave the house all the time because I can barely stand being in it. I can stand even less being around you. Other parts of your personality are really not reason to hate you, because I expect you to take me with my shortcomings too. But, for the longest time, you never did. You don't seem to realize exactly how miserable and unhealthy I was a couple years ago. You just took it as me being difficult and ignored everything going on with me. I'm done going on with this, considering I doubt I'll ever tell you any of this until I move out (and even then, I hope I'm nicer and more reasonable). So, in summation: fuck a stick.

2. I'm sick of your shit. You've gone completely beyond even having basic human emotions. You've sunken so far into apathy that I feel like you're an entirely different person. I wish you were still my friend. You were amazing. Now, you're just an automaton. You, my friend, are a wet fucking cigarette. 

3. You're responsible for a lot of the makeup of my personality, a long with other aspects of who I am today. A mixed blessing, really. Thank you for the good times, and the ultimate lessons. And, I don't give a shit, you really were better than any dick I'd ever been with. 

4. I don't know if the original was directed at me, but, yea. You seem like my distant Southish counterpart. That's pretty rare and awesome. Come to a playground with me and bring a camera. Cool? cool.  

5. After your last album, I am so disillusioned! It was still good music, but, for fucks sake! Actually write some of it yourself next time! I still love you, though. Don't think for a second I don't. You're my first, last, and everything.

6. Your husband did horrible things. Your archaic values and general intolerance for my very personality make me want to hate you. Just don't stop buying me things until I leave the town.

7. I think you're one of the strongest people I know, even when you feel the weakest. You're probably the only thing keeping me from following in typical New York suit and despising the West Coast. You're the most beautiful person in the world, but more than that, the realest...if that makes any sense. The ebst, if you will.

8. Sometimes, I wanna punch you in the teeth. You're still the most adorable person I know that isn't a toddler. And really trustworthy and faithful. Always good :)

9. You are absolutely fucking shithouse nutso crazy. I love it. You're a precussion(ey?) genius, and you're really the luckiest kid your age that I know of. I love your whole family, and I feel like they really welcome me and accept me. Especially little one, 'cause, god, she's amazing. I think you make Matt a little jealous, but don't get too excited. 'Cause, you know, you're in love with me and everything, haha. No, really, though. We met on pretty shitty terms ('cause you're an asshole!), but you've  taught me that not everyone in Honeoye is a waste of oxygen. You've become one of my best friends, and the best boss ever. Please, please. Don't ever spontaneously combust.

10. You didn't think things through. You made a rushed decision, and you're paying for it with your youth. Still, I can't help but envy you. You brought something beautiful into the world. Just don't fuck it up.

11. I've only met you once, but you're goddamn adorable! oh my god! I mean, you're really fucking cute! like, puppies and kittens cute! holy hell!

12. I'm not glad you're in jail, but you're a dumb bitch. Stop doing dumb shit.

13. I'm glad you're in jail. I know it's not going to teach you a fucking lesson, though. You have a kid (with a person I dislike even more than you) now, and if for no other reason, wise the fuck up for the sake of it. I could go on for days about you, but, no. That's it. That's all the time I'm wasting on you.

14. Stop driving drunk. Or else stop coming to parties and getting so shitfaced you can't talk. That's your fucking choice, man. I love you, and you're a great friend, and you're not a disappointment or a failure. You're just a fucking idiot, and you need to figure out that we're looking out for you, not ganging up on you. Just because you're Irish doesn't mean you can hold your alcohol. 'Cause, really, you fucking can't. Part of that means being able to avoid getting belligerently drunk, and not needing to be babysat. Or, maybe that's just responsibility. Maybe you don't want to be babysat, and think you don't need to, but with the shit you pull? Are we supposed to just let you do as you please and die one of these nights? You're fucking going to if you don't stop. Please, just listen to us for once. We're your friends. The least you could do is stop using us for a good time and give us the same respect we give you. 

15. You're a better, cooler, more amazing person than I ever gave you credit for. I feel like less than a good friend, and I don't know how to change it because you don't approve of some of the things I do. Maybe that's something we'll have to work out, but still. You've been there through rock-swallowing and Ginger leaving and potential Arizona migration, and I value your friendship more than I value the house I live in. I should tell you that more often.

16. I hate that we're becoming distant. I'll always have our memories. And the letters. If you forget the letters, I'll kick you in the fucking nuts. Really, though, I told you everything in that letter anyway, so, this is short. You'll get yours!

17. you've become my best friend in, like, less than half a year. I wish you'd been around for some of the parties way back when, just 'cause you're super hilarous and amazing and would really have a good time. I'm sorry I kindof shortchange you on hanging out time, but I'm trying. Battle songs have to be written, it's just how it is. Really, though. You're, like, my duplicate, you're my twin. In pretty much every way, too. That has its downsides, 'cause, sometimes I really piss myself off, but, I think I'm one of the best people in the world too, so, that pretty much entirely applies to you as well. You're one of the only people I'd ever talk to about ass hair. I feel special because you could smell my garbage can. It was a bonding experience. You're a musical genius, and I look up to you in that respect. Just, don't make fun of my crappy chord transitions, 'cause I'm still learning! We need more rendez-frogs. And, really, you need to give me your amplifier. It's just how it needs to be. Or your bass. Ooooh, yea. Give me your bass. *moistens*

18. You're seriously the only teacher I'd ever bang. And, the best teacher in the world, in my opinion. And, I'm really really sorry for what I wrote on the chalkboard. It was just really funny at the time..

19. Nevermind Aerosmith. You, Miss (mystery person) are my first, last, and everything. I've had the best times with you (and, a couple of the worst) But, really, you've always been there for me, and you need to know that it's a mutual thing. You're such a strong person, and smarter than anyone ever gives you credit for. You've got better (and cooler) taste in music than most people our age, and I really regret giving you my Zeppelin poster now that I adore them, haha. I love your whole fucking family. If I smoked reds and had gorgeous hair and were really hot, I'd feel like I was really a part of it, haha. You know me better than most people, and yet you still stick around. That really means something, and I appreciate it more than you know. You're really my favorite person our age, and that little kid from Jerry Maguire is our age. That's how awesome you are. You're the only person I can look through a big box of things from the past in and we just have that thing where we already know what's up, and we're like, awww!! 'Cause, seriously, that happens, like, at least 20 times each time we hang out, haha. You're the only person I've ever, like, made up code words with, 'cause, really, we're both geniuses. After everything that's happened, I really do love you. Don't ever, ever change. And don't let penguins/shortcakes/wet cigarettes get you down. You're above all of that, and don't forget it.

20. You've gone from that kid with the shitty dread locks to my boyfriend's best friend to a really cool person to hang out with to one of my best friends to someone I just...love too much to describe. You've always been amazing, and I can't ever take you for granted. I can't ever let you go. I've told you absolutely everything that (even though you've really always been around) you've missed out on in my life (which makes this seem so real, because you don't have to have been) and you've still stuck around. I've had the most amazing days and nights with you. Especially when those nights involve spaghetti and prime time TV. (Author's note: at this point, I've started crying.) I was really worried for a little there. I thought I was starting to lose you, but I can't. Just being with you reminds me of everything good in the world. You were even fucking raised by great people. That's a whole other thing. I envy how close your family is, and I think it's so amazing. It's really a beautiful thing that you have with them, and I understand it hasn't always been like that. You're lucky that you have them, though. And, when I say I went for the wrong sibling, I'm really joking, baby. You're the only sort-of hippie for me. And, whenever I give you shit, I really hope you understand that part of my sense of humor is to joke around and be a bit of a bitch. I try to put a filter on it, but, I don't want to be anything but myself with you. So, fuckin' deal with it, haha. Really, though, I admire you, and I respect you. I'm starting to think that anyone with your name is a musical genius. You could drum most people's face off, and not only is it incredibly sexy, I really just love listening to it. If you released an album of nothing but drumming upstairs (maybe with Perrin singing Jew hymns, haha), I'd listen to it all the time. Actually, right now, Tom Sawyer just came on and I remembered how well you played the drums in that song. That's talent. That's sexy. I'm nowhere near as good a musician as you are. Really, I can't even call myself a musician, I guess. But, inspiration's what you are to me. Thanks for teaching me the G chord, haha. It was one of the most useful life lessons I've ever recieved. Even though you can be unreasonably silly sometimes, you're one of the wisest people I know. You pretty much always have something to say. It's never bullshit. And, you always look out for people. You're seriously the most caring friend I've ever had, and what you did last night for a previously mentioned amazing friend was so sweet of you. I miss seeing you more often, but, really. You're worth the crazy schedule we have. You're worth the world and more to me. There's so much more I could say, but, I don't know how to. You said it best. Even when the meter says E, I love you. Don't you forget it.