I suppose I should catch up on some important things of recent happenings.
I am sure many important things have happened, but I will focus on what is most important to me.
So I will refrain from the Packers 0-3 start, I will stay mute on my classes and the fact that I seem to have difficulty concentrating and focusing my efforts on anything, I will forego discussing anything to do with Green Day that doesn't pertain to my story, I will leave out ooh's and ahh's over Yellowcard's new single, I will keep my mouth shut on how great Family Guy and American Dad is, I will not be commenting on the Boston Celtics and their new improvements, and I will not be raving about NBA 2K6 or the fact that Grand Theft Auto is still pissing off small minded people. I won't even get into how much Bush sucks and how I think Christopher Walken is shaping up to be the best movie star candidate ever (yes he is better than Ronald Reagan).
With all of that being said...

A little less than a year ago, my dad was visiting with a few of his friends from Malone. One of his friends, Peter, was encouraging him to sign up on match.com, claiming that it had been wonderful for him. My dad, figuring it was worth a shot, created a profile and began searching. He met up with several women over the first couple months, none that really fit what he was looking for. But there was one woman who he did end up becoming quite attracted to. Her name was Carol. They hit it off very well, and they began seeing each other exclusively. As all happy stories go, things continued to improve for them and once they reached their 6 month anniversary, my dad proposed to her. So they are now engaged, and our housing is still separate. There is no date set for the wedding, it is still far away most likely (and so are the living arrangements). My dad owes Peter for getting him started on match.com. Now that those tidbits are out of the way...

Carol has two of her children living with her, Amanda who is 15 (soon to be 16) and Geoff who is 17 (I have no fucking clue when his b-day is). I get along alright with both of them, although we are quite different and therefore aren't very close. I talk to Amanda on-line sometimes, she is so hard to get a read on that I have no clue what she truly thinks about me (thinks I'm great, hates me, or somewhere in between, who knows?).

Since I talk to Amanda on-line, at the beginning of the summer I began talking to her best friend that would come over to her house. Her best friend's name is Shona. Shona would get on Amanda's screen name and talk to me when she would go over. I first saw Shona when she came over to Amanda's house when I was there, but they left as soon as she got there, so we never spoke or were even introduced. I could usually tell if she was talking to me on-line on Amanda's screen name just by the way she typed to me. Like I said, Amanda is very hard to read so she can be rather not talkative at times, but Shona was always very talkative (and I mean that in a very good way). Despite her propensity for being very into conversation with me on-line, we still did not say a word to each other when Shona came over to my house for the 4th of July with Carol, Amanda, and Geoff. I was rather upset at Amanda when they came over which was my reason for not being social, and Shona is a very shy person also. Shona is originally from England so she went over there this summer to be with her dad for a while.

My first impression of Shona wasn't exactly a very impressive one. She came off as being someone who was oblivious to the dangers that exist in the world, and also as someone who would get themselves killed just by being too careless. But I didn't stop talking to her for this reason: although my first impression wasn't good I still enjoyed talking to her very much, I found her to be interesting and I loved the way she communicated. Once she arrived in England, she imed me on her own screen name which she had created while over there. I was impressed by the fact that she had remembered my screen name well enough to im me over there. We began talking more and more, and I was just amazed at the conversation ability we showed together.

Most people that I talk to on-line can not carry on a conversation at all, and very few are worth talking to on a daily basis. Some people you talk to only respond with "lol" and "haha" and never offer anything of substance. Granted, I use those abbreviations but I always try to add some actual thought into my typing. And nearly everyone has those quiet moments on-line, where you and the person you are talking to can not think of anything to say and there is no typing. That has never been an issue between me and Shona. We always have something to say to each other, and it is an amazing feeling to be that connected with someone.

We seemed to becoming closer friends after a short period of time, then something unfortunate occurred. I don't care to get into detail about what happened, but it was something I was sure Shona would hate me for since it is typical of people in general to do as opposed to logically thinking the issue through. But instead of hating me forever, she surprised me yet again and simply asked for my explanation. Most people wouldn't have cared, but she wanted to hear what I had to say and hear things from my point of view. I was so amazed by that. I seriously think that is when I fell for her. She showed so much maturity in that instance and it still impresses me to this day. We hadn't really done much flirting up to this point, and any slight feeling I had for her were quickly dismissed by me since I figured she would never like me. So maybe I would have fell for her eventually anyway, but that moment sure sped up the process. We began to flirt more and more, and we could both tell that we would soon be together. She called me on my birthday and we talked for a half an hour, which was so incredibly wonderful. It was so soothing to hear her voice, and I found her accent to be very attractive. We talked every night, and every night was simply heaven.

She flew back home at the end of August, and we got together the following day for slightly over an hour. I had wanted to ask her out in a certain fashion, I wanted to take her out to eat and then take her to a vacant area and dance to a song, and kiss her for the very first time followed by asking her out after the song. Well due to time restrictions I couldn't do the whole plan, but I did want to do the important parts. So, I picked her up and we drove to the vacant lot on the Plattsburgh base, I parked my car and we both got out, I turned on my CD player to Waiting by Green Day and we danced to the song. Actually we were swaying more than we were dancing but the feeling was indescribable. Then, at the point where the song breaks down to just Billie Joe playing the guitar, I looked into her eyes and told her that I loved her and then we kissed as Billie sang the words "I've been waiting a life time for this moment to come, I'm destined for anything at all". We continued to kiss for the next 6 songs, with a slight pause at the end of the first song when I asked her out. We had a car honk as it drove by while we were kissing, and not even the rain fazed Shona. We got in the car when we were ready to leave, and I came close to her. She had told me while she was in England that she always wanted to be with a guy who she could look into his eyes and see that he loved her for her and not for her body. I looked her straight into the eyes, and I asked "Can you see it?" Her eyes darted back and forth between both of my eyes for about three seconds, then a huge smile appeared over her face and she nodded her head.

We saw each other every day for about the first 8 or 9 days. Pretty impressive considering she wasn't supposed to be seeing anyone and we couldn't let her mother find out about us. Her mom is a complete wacko, and that is putting it lightly. I don't want to get into any major details here simply because I am not sure Shona would want me doing that, but let me simply say if the woman was drowning I would step on her hand and say "you deserve worse than this for what you did to her". We were able to sneak around her mother quite well, although I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before we got caught. I also didn't want my dad or Carol to know about us since I knew they wouldn't approve of us dating. But they did eventually find out, and Carol made things a lot better for me by easing my worries by being so understanding and by helping me by giving notes I had written to Shona.

Sadly, Shona's mother has treated her so badly that Shona has decided to go back to England to live with her father. It was such a hard decision for her to make, but I kept encouraging her by saying that it is the best choice for her, because it is. No one should have to put up with what she was dealing with. And I told her that no matter what, I will be here waiting for her when she gets back. She wants to go back to England, become emancipated and then work on getting a visa to come back to the US. I looked into it and it seems pretty shaky. There is a chance it could work but then again, it could very well not work. But she needed to take the risk. And I know how perfect things will be once she can get back, no matter how long it takes. Amanda and I have already had short discussions on possibly going to see Shona in England in the future, because both of us with have it extremely hard losing someone so close (my girlfriend, her best friend). I have tried to get through these recent times by looking foward to the positives, those being that it gets Shona away from the hell hole she was in, and the fact that I will now get to talk to her on a daily basis again. I would rather be with her, being able to see her and touch her, but I love talking to her on-line too. Before she left, I gave her a ring and a note to remember me. The ring got plenty of comments at school before she left (all good I hope hehe).

It is scary to think I will be without her for so long now, but I realize that I won't really be without her. She is in my heart, and as long as I have hers then we will always be together. She is worth waiting for, I know she is. As she once said to me, "I could have waited a thousand years and you'd still have been worth the wait." Sometimes a member of a couple goes off to war, and there is a period of time before they come back. Sometimes situations call for members to be apart for an extended period of time. If people can do it, I know we can too. She is the only one I want. She is the only one I need.

I am so happy I have you in my life Shona, you are everything to me. No matter what, I will be waiting for you. I love you with all of my heart.



........ohh, and thanks again Peter. I owe you one as well.



Current Mood: happy, sad, and loved all at once

Current Music: Green Day- Wake me up when September ends