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Current mood:  bummed
alright,well heres another long blog.Well I'm going to start off back right at the end of my last blog. After Dallas, everyone knows i was a little pissed off about what happened- well about a week or two later everything was cool again between me and cj, we started hanging out and talk on a daily bases, which i'm really happy with because he's an awesome guy. Anyways, talking to cj again, i still found out kyle was talking shit blah blah, so thats when I decided to quit playing halo competitively..Yeah it was a dumb decision because it was one person but oh well. I had more important things coming up. Well anyways, I had Coda try-outs for band which I did good in I guess, I made it to all-state round 2 and I've actually been offered a few places for college. I tried out for OBU the next week and got 2nd chair...so I'm pretty happy. Well at this time, I was happy,everything seemed to be going my way, I was out having a good time with friends, and it seemed nothing was going to go wrong. Well i was wrong... 2 weeks ago on November 13th? i think it was, I went bowling with Josh Cj Dante and a few others...and I remember blake texting me all sad because his gfs sister died. I'm like oh i'm sorry bro, but there wasn't much I could do. So i kept going on with my night bowling and having a good time. So at about 1 in the morning josh drops me off, and about 20 mins after he dropped me off he called and said it was Brittany Althoff who died. At that time my heart dropped. Yeah I didn't know her as well as a lot of her close friends did, but I did know her pretty well. Brittany was an awesome person, and I only knew her for a few months, but those months I knew her were actually enjoyable months. We texted a lot and she came up to Arby's all the time while working. I just wish something like that wouldn't have happened to her, but hell what can I do about it? The night i heard about it, I couldn't sleep..and when i did I had nightmares..Not about brittany, but about Anthony. I couldn't stop thinking about it. But whats really ironic, is the day brittany was killed, I found a few of Anthony's papers in my first hour. Idk what to call it, but it really freaked me out. Anyways i'll shoot passed all that, and go on to a few days after I heard the news...I wasn't sleeping very well, i had a nightmare every night...Idk why, but when I went to the funeral, it only made it worse. I told myself as I was walking up to the body, not to look at it, but when we got there the line stopped, and i was right there. I looked at it once and couldn't take my eyes off of it...It wasn't nearly as bad as anthony's but it was still terrible. I hope to never go to another funeral in my life. I cried my eyes out... I couldn't help it. The whole ride home I didn't talk to anyone.. I went to work about an hour later and really didn't talk to anyone either, and honestly I don't feel to talk to anyone as much anymore. It just hits me how short and unfair life can be,and i hate it. Now every minute of every day i can't stop myself thinking why? So many unanswered questions pop up in my head and i don't know what to do. Honestly, it feels as if i've lost all my close friends, and also as if i've lost my family. I still have all my personal problems going on , but what can I do? I'm in high school, its typical.. I have a job, I do a lot of crap... its as if i'm too busy for my own life. I hate it. This month hasn't been the greatest but I've been pulling through. Anyways, I don't want this blog to be completely insane lol, so i'll go on to happy news. For some reason today I feel happy. Maybe its because this new person has stepped in my life, and she knows who she is. anyone who hangs around me knows who she is too ha. Well you've been helping me alot lately special one :). You're always there to put a smile on my face and to help me out no matter whats going on. I had a lot of fun playing Pictionary with you and your mom and weirdo girl, and I can't wait for more fun games in the future :). Hopefully soon , you'll realise wats in front of you, waiting, and make a good decision lol .
OK to close this blog off, I just want to say, I'm not writing this for attention, i'm not writing this to make you feel sorry for me...I'm writing this for me and my close friends. I'm writing this to let things off my chest and let them go... and I'm writing it to see which true friends actually take their time and read this. And if you've actually read this blog, thank you... All i'm asking for is your help...talk to me.. make plans with me.. I need something to do guys lol.
Anyways I'm off, sorry about the typos i'm too lazy to spell check
R.I.P Brittany Althoff
R.I.P. Anthony Parks
we'll forever love you.
12:13 PM
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