just to clear up some things, and being a victim of abuse , rejection, and in consideration......i just want to touch on the marriage, love topic, when you make a decision to love someone , yes i said make a decision, cause i dont believe in falling in and out of love, it's something that you deciide on doing.........when you go out on dates , it's really not to find out how much money your going to spend on me, or if you7 have a high paying job, although that's not  to say it's not important ,............. love your rebuttal, but as a free thinking person, i dont agree with everything you have written, but to some extend it is somewhat important, (for the materiallistic and self-serving money gubbing, ladies that are out there, no disrespect).....i believe, that off the top you know what your in for , call it chemistry, vibes, a feeling.......you know well you know if, i will see you again or ,hell no girl/boy you better runaway as fast as you can.......you know, after that,...if you stay to see him/her again, is when you and your partner start working on the re-late-tionship, relating being the key word, went the stuff starts hitting the fan, it is each persons job, to find out whats going on, why are things falling apart, i believe in the 5 (five) love languages, 1) TOUCH, some people like it when they are caressed and held, to these people that syas, louder than anything "i love you"...........2)GIFTS, some people like when there mate ,goes shopping and thinks of them enough to buy them something , anything , the though of "hey, you though about me", tells this group ,i love you......... 3)WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,...4)ACTS OF SERVICE.......5)QUALITY TIME..........., let me just say that everybody likes all of theses ,but one or two of these ,say out loud, "I LOVE YOU"........ and if anything it's the job , yes, work, to find out which one of these is your mates, ...........for instance, your girl , is always buying you things, not knowing that you would prefer, to spend a quiet eveing alone,with your mate(QUALITY TIME), your speaking chinese, your mate is speaking italian, your on page 6 ,and there is on page 8, .......after a while of this miscommunication, things ,bad things start to happen in the relationship....... i could go on and on, but this is just a comment, ........................maybe i'll start my own, blog series in spired by you, called the in's and outs of LOVE....or be a better mate,....... one thing is for sure everybody has to give 100%, i dont believe in 50/50, cause if you only give 50%, thats all you gonna get back.......yours truly, HE-MAN,WOMEN HATERS CLUB....(he he)lol..