As I sat frozen in horror as the man started to explain the process of how in order to survive you can digest your own yerin. It's 90% water. The other 10% however is toxic.
He was about to explain how to separate the two when I realized that I can in fact change the channel, and decided to do so immediately.
The man was almost as bad as the guy they followed around that lived with wolves! Do parents let their kids what the Discovery channel? Because maybe they shouldn't. I'm just saying.
Why would anyone want to know that? If it came down to it I'd choose death! Apparently this guy's super afraid of death or something, because eeewwww.
I mean I wouldn't give up or anything! I'd give it my all, but then I think i'd just remember that the place I'm going isn't so bad, and that's the last thing i'd wanting to be tasting in my mouth before I went.
So anyway my Mom came in and we watched one of her favorite movies Yours, Mine, and Ours. Not the new version, because both of us don't like the new one, but the one with Lucille Ball.
The reason I don't like the new one is because at one point they give up. The modernized the whole story, and ok whatever, but they did it to the point that giving up was even an option. To the real family, and the old movie cast, in that time giving up in your marriage, and/or your family wasn't a option. You didn't do that.
The real family behind the story ended up having a total of 20 kids. That had to be amazingly hard. I'm sure if anyone had the right to want to give up it was those parents, but I think they realized somethings really important that my generation doesn't often learn.
Love isn't what you see in fairy tales, shakespeare plays, or pretty much anything you see on tv. Love is hard. Love is a choice you make everyday. Love is for better or for worse. Love is holding someone's hair up while they're throwing up. Love is forever. Love is very real, and everything else that's been glamorized is fake.
Giving up is something we do almost everyday here, and we don't get that feeling of accomplishment.
We try to replace all that stuff with empty, and meaningless things and it's not working. Instead of realizing that however we just try to find more to fill that hole we have in our lives with. You'll never have enough.
So as I was thinking all of this I thought about my own life. About how I really wanted Ballet classes, and my parents signed me up for Karate. I gave up a week before I got my yellow belt. Who could blame me I'd say! I never wanted that! I ended up with nothing though... A white belt doesn't mean a whole lot.
I wanted to learn the flute. I thought it was the most wonderful instrument in the world. I got Piano classes. I didn't want to practice everyday! I wanted to play the flute anyway! I quite, and now I know nothing musically.
So here I am now. Going to school for a field were only 30% are women. Where 20 years ago I wouldn't be here. My coming up year is going to be full of extreme hard work. Tuition is going to be high, and my Starbuck work hours very low.
I know I'm going to REALLY want to quit. I know it.
But I'm not. I'm saying that with true confidence. Confidence that I didn't even know I had. Lauren may have been a quitter when she was younger, but I'm not longer one today.
Nothing real is easy, and nothing fake is worth having.