After a long layoff I, Wally W., was able to catch up with Gary Buck to sit down and discuss how things are progressing since he made the trek from the north woods.

Wally W.: Hi Gary. How are things?

Gary Buck: Well, in the words of a famous man, I can’t complain.

WW: If you did who would listen right?

GB: Well, my nation of fans for one.

WW: Rhetorical question Gary.

GB: Oh. Sorry.

WW: Moving on, what’s been keeping you busy these days?

GB: Along with starring in a few adult deer films I have assumed the role as legal representation and sole creative director for The Rockford Mules. It’s been coming along nicely…no pun intended of course. I am trying to incorporate a few choreographed moves for the guys. You know like spinning guitars and back flips, and maybe some sporadic high fives. The guys are hard sells however. They still cling tight to their “hot dish, tator tot, dusty boot, old pick-up, and blah blah blah sound that I feel is so 2008.

WW: Interesting. What brought on the perceived need for choreography?

GB: I saw The Jonas Brothers recently and it sparked a myriad of ideas for me. The way those three work together is amazing. It’s almost like they’re related.

WW: Well Gary, they actually are.

GB: No shit? Your kidding right? I thought it was just a really cool band name like “The Allman Brothers”.

WW: The Allman’s were started by brothers as well.

GB: Really?!?!?!? How about “The Bacon Brothers”?

WW: Same thing.

GB: Well I’ll be damned. What about “The Jackson 5”?

WW: Seriously?!?! We have to move on Gary. Have you been able to check out any other local acts? Perhaps add to the Buck Entertainment Inc. stable of superstars if you will?

GB: Yes, I go out almost every night. I once saw an ad in the City Pages and it read, “Tonight, Cocaine.” I thought the club was just going to have a buffet of illegal drugs on hand with the focus being on Peruvian nose candy. Much to my disappointment I was wrong and all I got to see was a Guns-n-Roses cover band. They didn’t play any G-n-R songs though….it was very confusing. On a side note, their hair looked AMAZING and the outfits were cool. Lots of leather, or upon closer look, pleather, and a ton of hankerchiefs. Reds, blues…I thought there was going to be a gang war right there….old school Compton style.

WW: Any other acts that caught your eye?

GB: There is a rapper that I’m currently grooming. I’m keeping it on the DL though.
He will be huge. He’ll probably be the next Vanilla Ice or better yet, the next Snow. You remember Snow right? “Informer you got lick my big fat hairy ball sack…I’ll lick it boom boom down.” Great effin song man…great song.

WW: Rap huh? I thought you were a rock guy?

GB: Common misperception. I consider myself to be somewhat of a renaissance deer. I take it all in, digest it, and regurgitate something so unique that the world is forced to pick their collective jaws off the floor and stare in wonderment as I redefine music as they know it. I’m the next Kanye…only cooler and not black. More tanish…hairier too.

WW: I had no idea you were so talented.

GB: I did.

WW: Well Gary thanks for your time as always and good luck. We’ll talk to you soon.

GB: You’re welcome. Oh yeah, please try and get an appointment next time though. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to squeeze you in like this in the future. Got it?

WW: Yeah Gary, I got it.

GB: Great. I’ll have my secretary see you out. Good chat Willard.

WW: That’s “Wally”.

GB: Whatever.

The Rockford Mules are playing at the 331 club this Friday.  9pm.  Radio interview on 90.3 KFAI at 7:30 or so, I think.