Today people from all over the world are running the New York Marathon. How on earth do people do that? Run 26 miles? In fact I have many friends who have run the marathon. I don't think I ever will. I don't think I really want to. I suspect that you really have to want to run 26 miles in order to do it! Helicopters are swooping constantly around our neighborhood to get a shot of the park. It's such an invasion. I don't understand why they're allowed to behave the way they do... hovering in residential areas for a half hour at a time. They are SO noisy. It's just wrong. But my complaints fall on deaf ears. People who don't live in New York tell me, "what do you expect? You live in NYC!" People who live in New York say "What helicopters? I don't even notice them." So... I guess it's like it or lump it. You would think after all these years, a lifetime in New York City, I'd be used to the noise. Quite the opposite is true. I used to work for Lewis Rudin years ago (a major real estate philanthropist). His family, his father in particular, Sam Rudin, was one of the major sponsors of the NYC Marathon. Each year when the marathon comes around I think of Lew who died 4 years ago. He was a generous and exigent man... I can't say I enjoyed working for him, but it the job had its perks. I was able to record my first album while I worked there (I only worked 3 days a week). I got this great apartment where I now live. Lew used to give me 4th row center tickets to the Metropolitan Opera. I heard Placido Domingo, Pavarotti & Carreras as well as Kiri Tekanawa (sp?) and a number of amazing divas. It was magic. He also would give me tickets each year to the NY Film Festival. I had a day pass and could check out all the best new independent films before anyone else. Often the actors, directors and producer would attend the screenings and answer questions at the end. There were films from all around the world. It was amazing. Then I would get to go to the opening and closing black-tie ceremonies where all the beautiful people congregated and shmoozed. I was in a bathroom stall right next to Nicole Kidman one time. Yes, she too pees! My mother also worked for Lew. I, in fact, got her the job! It was so great to by her side. We got along so well. We'd have lunch every day and chat all the time. It was wonderful. I am so grateful for that time. I hope she knows how much I love her and miss her every single day. My sister, her boyfriend, my father and I all went to visit Mom's grave today. It was so foggy outside this morning that we felt like we live in the clouds. Out the window everything was grey, white and heavenly quiet. My mother is buried in Woodlawn Cemetary in the Bronx. Just opposite her plot is Mayor Laguardia and only a 100 yards away like Miles Davis, Duke Ellington and many other great jazz artists. Of course there are lots of regular people too. That's the beauty of NYC. The rich and the poor, black, white, asian, hispanic and hundreds of ethnicities mixed together. In death we are all equal. Although some people have bigger chunks of rock or marble. The beauty of their graves contributes to the overall beauty of the place for all. I strolled the hill behind Mom's grave trying to compose myself. I was reading the dates and was shocked to see so many born less than a decade ago. Little kids. Babies. One headstone was adorned with dozens of stuffed animals, barbies and toys. It broke my heart. I'd like to say it made me feel fortunate to have my mother as long as I did, but that would be a lie. Rationally, I thought it. But my heart still aches. She left too soon. These children, on the other hand, their passing is tragic. I can't imagine those poor parents and families. Reality stings - or bites... Woodlawn is a beautiful place. In the spring, there are so many flowering trees everywhere. It's really extraordinary. In the fall there are golden and fire-red maples all over the place. Enormous ,heaving, yellow weeping willows. It's very romantic. I am glad my mother rests there. At the very least it is a peaceful and lovely place to contemplate life and death. Music, music, music. I'm doing all kinds of things musical, but not really performing right now. I just don't have the energy or the desire to perform. It will come back, I feel certain. I had re-recorded a vocal for one song which is what is holding up releasing the album. My friend who did the work has all but vanished without a trace. I give up! I guess I'm being too much of a perfectionist. I guess it's done... So one day I will do a gig. When, I don't know... Will anyone be there to listen? Maybe not. But, I've been there before... Ugh. Starting over. Daunting! xo Jenny B