I should atleast be blogging because I sure as hell ain't working.  So whats up?  What's Poppin?  I don't really know.  I'm applying to jobs, trying to write(haha), and just trying to relax.  Man talk about being burnt out.  I was basically angry most of the time and hated all you, especially you.  Now I am so relaxed and chill.  It's great.  I'm not spending any money either, because I really can't afford to so it works itself out.  The only thing that I guess is bothering is my one douchebag roommate.  I only have one douchebag roommate and the rest are regular cool roommates.  My douchebag roommate is a ninja.  Not that kind of ninja!  He doesn't wear all black and stuff.  But he is stealthy, except when he is eating because he chews with his mouth open and smacks and makes noise(it's nasty).  And this to me is the most perplexing thing about him.  Because he is an expert at stealing OPP(Other People's Pizza).  It's uncanny!  It's amazing!  I've never seen anything like it in my life.  Seriously, anytime there is left over pizza in the house he eats it, but no one EVER sees him do it.  It's insane, it's like catching Rats fucking.  You know they are doing it because they are everywhere but you never actually witness them doing it.  Not that you would want to see that but I am saying, for the number of rats in DC you expect to see them fucking from time to time.  Same as people, I catch people fucking sometimes and I think there are less people then rats in DC.  Ok I proved my point about the rats. 

But anyway I guess you can say that my roommate eats pizza with the stealth of rats fucking.  Since I never caught him I have to act like it could possibly be one of my other roommates even though I know it wasn't them.  So I sent this e-mail to the house(sidenote: the douchebag roommate moved in around October):

"I know this may sound ridiculous and that's that's because it is.  But who the hell keeps eating other peoples pizza?  Someone just punished 2 slices of some pizza I got yesterday.  Who was it?  Please come forward now, so that we can try to understand what in the hell is wrong with you, and why you keep doing it after repeatedly being asked to stop.  It is one of the weirdest things that I have seen in this house but it also just pisses me off.  Basically I hadn't planned on buying any other food today, at all, especially now that i don't have a job but now i have to.  So thank you who ever that was.  The only time my pizza didn't get eaten(since I'd say around last October) is when I wrote "This ain't your's" on the box.  So I know you can read, and respond to written text, but it is pretty ridiculous for someone to have to do that.  SO whoever this pizza freak is why don't you do me a favor; next time there is that sexy, sultry, irresistible slice of other people's pizza just trying to seduce you, if you can't control yourself and you just HAVE to take some pizza then you can do one of 2 things: 1) you could just not do it, or 2) you can take it and leave $3.50 in the box for each slice.  The $3.50 is probably just as annoying as taking the slice without saying anything but at least i don't feel like someone is stealing form me." 

Everyone responded to me except the stealth of rats fucking douchbeg roommate…I got my eye on you…