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Current mood:  distraught
thingz r changing between me and chris... i can tell... he just haznt been da same chris dat i fell in luv with..... da chris dat i fell in luv with iz gone.... no where 2 b found..... itz so hard 2 tell him dat he luvz me kuz everytime i tell him dat i luv him he just sayz "i no"..... i ask him y he doeznt tell me dat he luvz me and he said dat itz awkward and i say it way 2 much..... he hardly callz me anymore and he doeznt txt me or tlk 2 me on myspace dat much anymore... i leave him nice thingz on hiz page and he just deletez dem like i dnt even matter 2 him anymore.... i luv him 2 death and i dnt wanna lose him but i believe datz whatz happening........ idk what 2 do anymore.... y do i even try..... i dnt think he luvz me anymore... when he even tellz me dat he luvz me it just doeznt sound convincing enough 4 me 2 believe him.... my heart achez every time we tlk on da phone kuz he just soundz like he iz 2 interested in getting high and playing hiz videogame more dan 2 tlk 2 me... we have been going out 4 a year and a month so far and i hope it can last much longer... he sayz dat he still luvz me but i dnt believe him... he sayz dat he wantz 2 keep in touch with me but i dnt believe dat either.... itz so hard just 2 get him 2 answer hiz phone...... honestly i believe dat he haz no intresrt and no feelingz 4 me what so evr any more.. i would ask him myself 2 c if these thingz were true but he would just lie 2 me and tell me what i want 2 hear... i just hope dat he still doez have feelingz 4 me and dat he still luvz me kuz if he doeznt my world will come crashing down... chris iz my everything he iz my world i would die 4 him if i have 2.... he haz made a big impact on my life... he kept me warm when i waz cold... he made me happy when i waz sad... he did everything in hiz power just 2 keep me happy and by hiz side.. he wanted 2 c me everyday and on da dayz dat he couldnt c me he would make up 4 it by calling me and tlking 2 me 4 a longgg time... but now those dayz r gone and i miss dem dearly... i hope i can have dem bak...
 
3:07 AM
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