The joys of car ownership are plentiful.  Not the least of which are the utilitarian aspects of car ownership:  that the vehicle is comfortable and that it provides you transportation between two points.

However, with any joy comes equal quantities of angst.  I have a semi-well documented dislike for car dealers--which is sad because I love cars.  I grew up around cars and reading car magazines.  One of my dad's best friends owned a car dealership--specializing, for a while at least, in high-performance Fords and Porsches.  I guess that being in an environment growing up where I was surrounded by people who loved and appreciated cars set my expectations way too high.  Because most car dealers--or at least car salesmen--I come across are terrible at their jobs.

Of course, I own a car.  I drove nearly 250 miles from DC to buy my Audi TT because the salespeople working at the Audi dealerships in the DC area were either morons or bumbling idiots (possibly one and the same?).  I'm not dumb enough to take the car that far away to get serviced, however.  So, after a few attempts, I settled on a dealer down here who offered good service.  In fact, my service advisor knew a lot about my car.  As of 8 months ago, he's gone.  And my service since has sucked.

And thus.....today's story:

I took my TT to Tischer Audi of Silver Spring for one of its maintenance check-ups.  My only request was that the guys in the shop check my brakepads.  I got a call that something was leaking--asking for permission to fix it.  Permission granted.  Then, they called me back 2 hours later to tell me that they couldn't get the lug nuts off my wheel because they were rusted to the hub.

I drive a $40-50,000 car, and it gets rusty lug nuts?  I have friends who drive Kias and Suzukis, and they don't have that problem.  So, the Tischer Audi idiot brigade DISASSEMBLED the wheel from the inside, which required replacement of the hub and wheel bearing.  The total cost for this repair alone was over $1,200.  All because they couldn't remove the lug nuts.  Of course, when I asked to see the offending lug nuts, they informed me that they had already destroyed the metal.  Good customer service people....

I asked, "Well, did you at least take the other wheels off the hubs to check my brake pads?"  And my service rep responded, "Are you kidding?  We weren't going to attempt that after we couldn't get the other lug nuts off!"

Hey, you stupid f'n moron!  What happens when I get a flat tire and I can't take the lug nuts off to put the spare tire on?  Nice one, Tischer.  Now your service department is almost as stupid as your sales staff.

Bonus (even better) sucky car dealership story:

My girlfriend recently purchased a brand-new Mini Cooper.  In fact, hers was one of the first 2007 Minis delivered.  She ordered it from Tate BMW/Mini in Annapolis last November or December, and took delivery of the car in February.

When she got the car, she realized that a piece of chrome trim she had ordered was not on the car.  It's a 4 inch by 10 inch ring that goes around the fog light on the rear of the car.  So, Tate ordered the part for her.  Nearly 4 weeks after she had her car, the chrome part arrived.

We took the car in on a Saturday morning and hung out at the dealer killing time.  I walked around the BMW lot looking at cars.  We sat in the waiting room playing with their futuristic coffee maker.  After an hour of waiting, we inquired about the status of receiving her car back, and we were told that they were having a difficult time attaching the part and that it would take another 30 minutes.

So, we decided to go look at BMW's again.  At the 90 minute mark, her car was ready, but I was getting ready to go out for a test drive.  So, we returned 20 minutes later, ready to leave, only to witness the chrome piece fall off the back of her car.

Tate's service department (yes, the same people working on your $100,000 BMW M5) attached the chrome piece to the back of the car (a plastic bumper) with 5 electrical tape donuts.  It took them 90 minutes to come up with the solution:  "Let's make tape donuts to stick it to the back of the car!"  Mind you, there was no sylicone glue.  They didn't even have the decency to use duct tape, which actually sticks to things.

I hope the mechanics working the Saturday shift at Tate were being held hostage by some 3rd world militant terrorist organization.  Because if they weren't and if they thought that they could somehow pass off tape donuts to the rest of the world as an acceptable work product, then I'm pretty sure they're the stupidest people on Earth--and I have a preschool arts & crafts project that just may stretch their abilities to the max.

Needless to say, it's 3 weeks later, and there has been no follow-up from Tate on the missing chrome--nor an apology.