Many days I have asked over and  over again  "y" until today I didn’t want to accept the fact that I might not like what I would hear. We all ask for God's undivided attention (as if our problems were that great.) but rarely do we realize (I speak from self experience.) that he is already focused on us.

I wrote this as a self revelatory and exposing snapshot of what is burning in me. I’m not pushing my beliefs because I don’t have the right too. However, if you can gain any thing from this then it has served its purpose. All go through times of despair and unknowing, whether self-inflicted or unpredicted. Sometime it seems as though these situations are unavoidable. You are never alone. Even though I feel physically and emotionally alone I know spiritually I am not. Not because of my goodness or worthiness. No, far from that it’s because God is God and he loves all his creation. Even when I don’t love myself he loves me. I am his whether I like it or not. He made me and he keeps me. I don’t say this because I claim to know something you don’t. I say this because I feel it deep inside. When I’m afraid and truly lost I feel him there. Look closely and you will find him in you.

You alone are God. Help me to embrace the essence of truth. Through your grace I find the strength to grasp my failures. All is dark when viewed through my experience. Give me the wisdom to perceive the path that has been laid before me. Remove the inhibiting numbness that blinds me. Empower me to cast down the things that cause pain and resentment. Awaken in me the thirst for your righteousness. Let me stand firm upon the foundation of love.  Establish in me a hunger for your ways.

You alone are God. You have shown sacrifice. How can anything I do compare? You alone are great. How can I learn from your example? Must I be humbled further? How much more do I withhold from you. I’m a selfish being. It is in my nature. Is it blasphemy if I state that these traits come from you?

You alone are God .All praise is yours, for you are God. Alone you are standing. How can I rise, walk, and seek your ways when the weight of my sins entraps me. What needs to be said? What needs to be done?  What has been set in motion? Is it an answer to prayer, might it be your condemnation or your divine intervention? Is my distress my curse, my punishment or my deliverance?

You alone are God. Can I know these things? Am I too slow to grasp and too stubborn to bend. Have I wasted the gifts you poured into me? Should I ask these things or be content in knowing you are God. You are God! Where was I when the cosmos was in your mind? I will give you glory. Will I fail like so many before me? Should I leave all to you , or do you want me to fight for what I desire. Is what I desire even revealed to me?

You alone are God. Thank you for showing me; you alone are God.

And you will never leave me alone.

mju.