wassup clarts!? Hope all is going well with everyone, love and harmony and other hippy bollocks that people would like to believe in if they could only get over the sense of futile dispear associated with modern living. Let's offroad!
We're currently scratching a deep gouge accross the lavish jungle topography of Laos, meandering our way down to the 4000 islands and then, inevitably, Cambodia - where we can spend $200 on a cow, a rocket launcher and a round of ammunition... if we fancied a bbq with a more hands on approach. I'm thinking that an AK47 and a few chickens would satisfy my blood-lust, but until then I suppose i can only dream. Cashback!
the last week or so has been relaxation station - we spent the best part of a day floating down the Mekon river, lain over inflated tractor tyres, sipping upon the finest beverages and indulging in the most lavish of vertical acelleration techniques - mostly from dubious rope swings and stupidly sketchy cliffs strewn accross the landscape at the side of the river. Beers out here cost a bone crunching 50p each (for really,really big botles) and taste like God's sweet love nectar. BeerLoas, we salute you! Crowning moment: running through town in the pitch black, wearing our tyres like ammunition belts, naked but for our swimming atire and giggling like little girls as we bumped into all manner of stationary objects with the silky grace of a fat man running.
Bike rentage ensuded; leading to river fording hilarity and bell based shinanegans - with a well placed wheel to chicken situation arising from a 7am dash homeward following a sleepless, frustratingly sexless liason at the other side of town. Good fo' exercise, the bikes also proved useful in locomotion - taking us to a super dooper lagoon, which served as a relaxation spot for a day and also provided ways for us to futher experiment with jumping off really fucking high things™.
Skipping back a few days - Dor became the first man to set a tentative foot upon "Floppy Island" durning our 36 hour chugg along the Mekon (in a boat about the size of a cabinet, with about 40 people on board) when a shittingcrickey huge storm caused the captain to shit himself and pull the boat over while it passed. The island itself is a beautiful amalgam of sludgy, brown stinkwater and sprouts of snot green weeds, watched over by the imposing facade of Mount Doom; a sandy little number with a sheer face which was good for jumping off really fucking high things™. The latest news is that the government of Floppy Island is planning an invasion of Hull, so watch out ye scurvy dogs, floppy islanders be tastin the blood of the whitefolk! Post floppy fun, a small gaggle of us strapping men were inlisted to lift and push the whole fucking boat out of the rocky mudfest that the captain had plonked us in like a forgetful mother leaving the gas on. You didnt need to know this, i just wanted to show off.
continuing the spirit of jumping off really fucking high things™, we visited possibly the most spectacular waterfall in the history of the evaporation cycle, about 200/300 meters high and tier'd off into various luscious pools and off-shoots of punishing water cascades. The photos I have don't do this thing justice in the slightest, and all ironic americanisms aside, it really was awesome. plus the water was full of mineral-y goodness, which lead to skin based happiness and the touch of a baby. transaction!
drunken gash: me and doug walking a good mile to try to break into a club in Laung Pabang (hi:ve, nice name spacky) at the small hours of the morning after a drinking session to rival even the most astute of gullets. The purpose of the mission was to obtain a couple of straws that we thought were swanky, owing to their constrution from hollow bamboo shoots. An hour of stumbling, crablike, accross the crunchy pebble strewn area by the entrance, shouting SHHHHHHHHHHH and shooting nervous glances at the ominously lit window above, we ceaced yanking heartlily at any obvious door and called it a day. Lesson learnt: bring tools.
caves are dark.
sour note : Vienetienne is a pile of shitty city comitee. It doesnt even have any working hindges.
fun fact: 1US$ = 10,000kip, and the smallest denomination of money out here is a 500kip note, while the largest is a 20,000kip note. All this equates to hilariously large stacks of money, all the time. Check out the cheeky lady putting about 30 quids worth of notes into her satchel!
theres more to tell but I can't remember it. gutted
all i want to say in closing is that travelling has changed us. not only emotionally, but on a deep core based level, physically. We have all changed for the better in appearance, just look at the beautiful photos depicting our astute young faces at their prime. It brings a tear to my eye to know that we are all so, so beautiful.
ciao