So this week now that I've gotten into the Summer Opera Program http://www.internationallyricacademy.com/ that I wanted to and face the task of playing the Countess it's weird.  Now I'm hearing all of these people that told me that I wouldn't be good for this or that.  And that's dumb.  I have a teacher that believes in me and I learned some very difficult pieces in a couple of weeks.  So I know that I am capable of doing the work.  But now as my recital in january is coming up (January 13th, 2007 at Christ Church in La plata, MD 112 Charles Street for those curious) I have to start writing a press release, work on my website, help to create a buzz about myself.  And it's finally feeling real.  This whole thing of starting a career and learning about what I have to do.  While I'm over there I could come home with and agent.  Everything has suddenly become a big deal and I'm telling myself not to be afraid.  That I have worked hard to get this far and just need to remember that.  That no one is asking me to do anything that I can't. 
       It's funny when the director of the program auditioned me last week he apparently kept talking about how beautiful he thought I was and how beautiful a voice I have and that's weird for me.  I have to get over the feeling plain thing so I can use what other people see to my advantage without being  a snot about it.  I want this to work.  I want to be who I've dreamed of being for a while.  A singer in DC told me something one day during rehearsal, he said that only I could decide when I'm ready.  And I think the time is now. 
       So let the work come.