I still work at MW now... Been doing more design lately which excites me and scares me. In a way.. I like having the opportunity to design in an open, non dictaorship environment.. But the freedom scares me.. there's more room for things just floating or not being presented in the best way it possibly can. I don't know if this is the best environment to learn all that I can about design. I feel like I had a chance to learn alot at Moxie (and I did while I was there), but it didn't work out so well. I guess personalities clashed.

Recently I've done really quick things for a redesign for Usher Woman's look. They wanted the packaging to be lighter, more feminine, and fresh. the camel suede wasn't working. They seem to like my idea. Hopefully they'll go with it. I'm really disappointed at how RX for brown skin was mass produced.... it doesn't look like the beauty shot... and they skimmed big time in that area. We are working on a new line of bodycare products for Ashley Stewart and a new high end toothpaste for veneers by some dentist to sell in bergdorf goodman and doctor offices as well.

I'm working with a woman at Limited brands on and off. I feel like I'm learning alot with her. I don't know if it will go anywhere further like a fulltime freelance job, hopefully, But I really enjoy working with her nonetheless.

I've been having a really hard time on figuring myself out. I would like to believe I'm hard working when I have to be and know how to relax when I should. I want to believe that I'm open minded, creative, and doesn't take life too seriously. However, I know I can be stubborn. Burn out creatively sometimes. Get pissed off. or not work as hard as I believe I can. I know I can be scatter brained and unfocused or focus WAY too much on something and waste my time not seeing the bigger picture. Career-wise, I thought I knew that I wanted to be a good designer, if not great. I want to live in a nice place. I want to make a difference in the world. I realize I don't really know if it's even possible. I don't know if i'm reaching my goals. I don't know if I'm good enough.

Ben says that I worry too much. Things happen in life for a reason. Even if I'm dissappointed in myself sometimes that the fact that I feel like I can do better should be a motivating factor in my life not a wall to encase myself in. He says all the mistakes and failures I may have experienced are to learn and grow from.

Ben says he belives in me. He says he's seen what I've accomplished so far these past few years with Rx for brown skin and the more design projects and attention that are flowing in because of it. He said that I've done designs for Limited brands that may or maynot have been chosen, but I've gained so much skills from just going through the processes with Sharie. Ben said he was proud of me.

Of all the events and People in my life so far that I've met or experienced, I 've never met someone that helps me in this way. Not even god. I don't know why it's so hard for me to believe in myself, but having someone like Ben to help me believe is all I need in life.

I really need to update my website and send my portfolios to places.