I think how excited a person gets about going to Vegas is in direct proportion to how dumb they are. What is it about Vegas that makes people, whilst there, want to yell out its name? You don't hear people yelling Barstow-Baby! Cincinnati-Baby! Jerusalem-BabEEEEE! Yet within minutes of being in this wretched aesthetically challenged town someone is bound to yell "Vegas-Baby!" like it's the wittiest bon-mot they've ever thought up. Everywhere I go there are people in sequenced baseball caps wearing Tweety Bird T-shirts running into you as they walk around aimlessly like this is their first time off of the Nebraskan Prairie. What gives? How did this place ever get famous? It's a manifestation of everything that's wrong on the planet. My dad called me today to tell me maybe I would get discovered this week. By who? A Wal-mart manager? Any vestige of glamour that used to exist here was buried with Eddie Fisher.
From this:


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Where are THESE people?
to this:


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"Vegas-Baby!"