Today is day 1 without Molly.  I only had her for 4 years, but she took such good care of me during that time.  There was a time when I didn't really want to go on.  I was tired and hurting and all I wanted to do was check out.  She was the ray of sunshine that kept me going.  She didn't leave my side, she licked my wounds, and she showed me the purest love I've ever felt in my life. 

I got Molly from a shelter in Kentucky.  I don't know who had her before me, but there must have been something very serious to make him give Molly up.  She was the sweetest dog I've ever met.  I couldn't walk her down the street without people commenting on her and wanting to pet her.   I would watch people just walking by light up when they saw her.  There was something about her that no matter how bad of a day someone was having, they would smile as soon as they saw her.  She was gentle, loyal, and loving.  She never chewed anything, carried her stuffed animals around like they were her puppies (with the greatest care).  She could be stubborn, but she always listened.  I swear she could understand every word I said and sometimes it looked like she was trying to mouth words back.

I know that we did the right thing in putting her to eternal sleep.  A few months ago I noticed that she was not breathing right.  I would wake up in the morning from a dead sleep to wide awake because I thought she wasn't breathing.  I found out that she had a tumor on her heard that was pushing her windpipe over and up.  They did what they could for her, but eventually her heart leaked fluid into her abdomen.  It made it hard for her to get up on the bed, walk up stairs, and eventually to even move around.  She made several miraculous recoveries, but in the end it all took it's toll on her.  She tried.  I know the only reason she lasted as long as she did is that she was worried about me.  I would wake up sometimes over the last few weeks with her sitting up next to me looking at me.  Her face was so full of expressions that I could almost tell that she was worried about me.  What would happen to me when she couldn't take care of me anymore. 

I miss her dearly,  she was my angel, my friend, and my life.  I know that every person that has a dearly loved pet goes through this.  I know my life will go on and it will eventually get easier.  Right now though I'm hurting.  Everyone I know has been wonderful in trying to help me get through this.  It makes me know how lucky I am to have so many wonderful friends. 

There are so many wonderful stories about Molly.  I'll probably add them up here over time, right now though I just can't seem to do it.