Number 1:
The world is still screwy. You can find examples to support this position each and every day. Today's piece of sunshiny evidence was foisted upon me by Yahoo news, who reported on a break-in at a nookie doll shop. That's right. A shop chock full of "blow up dolls named 'Jungle Jane.'" The article reads like any pervert-gone-over-the-edge story, so I shan't bore you with the details of the three-doll incident, except to say that, the actual quote given by the owner of the store read:

"It's totally bizarre. It's a real concern that someone like that is out on the street."

Of course, the guy who owns the shop full of Swedish Shur-Grip Suck Machines and latex blow-up pinyanya dolls is concerned for society. Because the patronage he serves who buys inflatable sex dolls one at a time to take home to his basement apartment is perfectly normal and perfectly healthy. But break in and steal Jungle Jane and now you're a pervert.

Number 2:
My buddy Jim pointed out something for me today about our new president-elect that I found spot on. Obama himself is saying all sorts of things about a bleak economy and using words like "crisis."

Where's all this hope he promised during the election? I don't want to hear him say anything even remotely like "crisis," dammit. I want to hear about hope. And sunshine and rainbows and cuddly bunnies frolicking in meadows of organically-grown flowers. The guy isn't even in office yet, and he seems to be an even bigger downer than the last guy.

Number 3:
When you see a really attractive girl wearing a logo that you designed, it makes the world better.

Number 4:
If your wife ever says to you, "You're not ever gonna go through a mid-life crisis and cheat on me, are you?" The correct answer to that question is "No I am not, my sweet love." Not "I'm not planning on it..."