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JoelleAndres.com!

Joelle Andres


Last Updated: 11/23/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 25
Sign: Aries

City: New York
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/25/2003

My Subscriptions
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 

Can I have your screen name?
No. I think the internet (and myspace) is full of weirdos, and so I don't give it out to anyone. If you have something legit to talk to me about, questions about photos, or something, please message me instead.

Can we hang out?
No. I don't use this account to make personal friends, only for work related purposes. If you see me at a show, feel free to come say hi to me. I love meeting people at shows, just not on the internet..through myspace.

Why aren't you answering my messages?
You probably tried to hit on me, or asked me to hang out...or tried to make small talk about the weather. Either one, is weird. 

Will You Take Photos For My Band?
I can't take on any free jobs at the present moment because of a full schedule. I am still taking on paying jobs, if you're interested in me taking photos, please email me (Joelle@joelleandres.com) for a quote.

How much do you charge for photos?
Email me (Joelle@joelleandres.com) with the circumstances (Live or promo? How many? If you're a band, many members? Where would we be shooting? Will I have to travel to you? What will they be used for? After I get the message I'll respond back with a quote.

Where are the pictures from -insert show here-?
Probably not up yet, I'm slow.

I Plan on going to SVA next year, is it a good school?
It's okay. The teachers are indifferent, the classes lack structure, but the facilities are nice. The Photo Dept graduates have a success rate of 2/25. Oh, and that's a relatively GOOD precentage for the photography field.which is pretty scary.

How do you get to photograph all those bands?
I'm friends with a lot of them, and those that I'm not friends with, I talk to their tour manager or the venues.

 

 

EXAMPLES OF WHAT NOT TO SEND ME:
(and some funny reading material).and more proof of why I don't give out my AIM

 

From: Jef
Date: Feb 13, 2006 7:41 PM

Subject: hey babee!!1!

Body: heey u don't now me but i found ur myspace an i must say, ur damn sexy!!!11!!1! we live liek 3 hours away but we shood hook up sumtime!!!1

a little, about me...
i am a convicted felon (funny story there, LOL!) and have a foot fetish; that has gotten me, in truble!!!! i totally like limp bizkit and korn and listen to them like all the time!!! r u into limp bizkit>>>/? i alwaysthought it wud be coooooool 2 be in a limp bizkit music video

soooo tell me about u?!?!///!?/1 emale me back beautiful damn
ur sexyy!!!!!111!111

love,
matt mueller

 

 

Date: Jan 28, 2006 10:41 PM

You are sooo Hawwwttt!
Are you a lesbian? or bi?
Cristy xoxo

 

Date: Jan 24, 2006 6:34

Subject: pARTY NYC

Body: 1st i just wanna say that your beautiful.. i would like to mingle with you or take u out to dinner to see what u about anyway...thats' real talk.. GET @ ME

anyway, another issue why i'm doing this.....

 

 

Date: Jan 23, 2006 11:56 PM

Subject: heyy

Body: i need your help i need a beat for my soumd track could u give me a beat or do u no some one and i need hilary duff of someone like her for the music vidoe so i need your help help and i do something for u.

C U LATER SEXYY

 

 

Date: Dec 25, 2005 12:16 PM

Subject: No Subject

Body: hey my name is matt im 20 m seaford li and ur beautiful so i imed u and ur info is interesting so maybe we can chill talk or chat my s/n is prncharming2 hit me back cutie we can get to kno eachother im in the navy to

 

Date: Nov 29, 2005 12:55 AM
Subject: hey

Body: hey im gonna be on campus tomorrow afternoon so if ur free and not mind meeting and showing me abit around itd be cool. (xxx) xxx-xxxx

 

 

Date: Nov 27, 2005 3:34 AM

Subject: I AM GONNA ASK ARE U REALLY A SWINGER

Body: Hello Were a Long Island couple looking to meet new couples into getting to know one another and becoming friends with benifits.
Were new to the whole "swap" but interested in learning more

we are a MARRIED COUPLE from levittown
LONG ISLAND with only 1 experience with another couple I HAVE A GREAT ability to please a female with my MOUTH HANDS AND COCK. MY WIFE'S AIM IS ALWAYS TO PLEASE ESPECIALLY WITH HER VAGINAL MUSCLES I have told her as well if I could bottle her ABILITY TO PERFORM ORALLY I would be a billionaire that's when it occurred to us to EXPLORE and share and SEE, TASTE AND TOUCH what there is out there to be EXPERIENCED so if you LIKE WHAT YOU ARE READING AND WOULD LIKE TO EXPERIENCE MORE and would like to talk or drop us a line we are BLITZKREG1@AOL.COM

Date: Aug 14, 2005 12:34 AM

Subject: No Subject

Body: I read youre myspace profile and thought it wold be cool to get to know you. My email is xxxx@aol.com if you would like to get to know me. Below is just some background info...
My name is XXXXXXX,i'm 22 and live in XXXXXX. I have two younger brothers(14 and 18 on Sat) and two older half brothers on my dads side they live with their mom(23 and 26). I have four cats and 1 dog and we all live wth my grandparents. It gets crowded believe me. My dad passed away about 7 years ago. My birthday is XXXX. Anyway I have a bf of over 2 years. I currently babysit and sell
AVON. I plan on going back to college though. I have panic attacks (or so they think anyway) which actually some people are not to comfortable with hanging out with me b/c of such reason as sometimes I can not move and they may have to help me out to the car(haha don't mean to frighten you but I used to not tell people and well you get the idea) So anyway I am an actress at heart. I have wanted to act on a soap opera since the 7th grade when I was in my first play. I have been in alot. I will eventually make in in the acting buisness. I like to read,write,sing,dance,act,watch tv,go on the internet,hang out,meet new people etc...) I will try basically anything once except I won't go on those scary rides or anything they get me dizzy and stuff and thats not good so yea but otherwise I'm up for it. I am a very outgoing person as well as shy. I guess it really depends on how well you know me. If I feel we really connect I may very well end up telling you my whole life story. I trust completly and wholeheartedly until proven wrong which unfortunitly does happen. I hate being lied to. I often aploigize for something I did not do. You could be the one who did something to hurt me and I would more than likely apoligize for making them feel that way or whatever. I can be the best friend that you have ever met. I will stick by your side threw thick and thin nomatter what even if you try and push me away until you decide to "kick me to the curb". I love helping people and try my best to be there for the ones I love. I can be one of the sweetest people you have ever met and am often called a "doormat" although now sometimes I stick up for myself. I will never stab you in the back. I will have your back even if you end our friendship. I am very sensitive as well as risky so to speak. I am some what of a daredevil but not in the way you may think. I love parties but I hate drinking,smoking and drugs. I am a very fun person and just if I like your company i will be happy doing anything. Just sitting in the house and talking is very enjoyable to me. I love having sleepovers although I have not had one in a long time. I love playing games with friends(Truth or dare is one of my favorite). I listen to any kinds of Music except I absolutly hate rap and classical. I like if not love every movie that I have ever seen. It is very rare if I hate a movie although it has happened on occasion. I am a tv fanatic. I loved the television show popular that was out in 99-02. I also like Dawsons Creek and the facts of life which also have since ended. I like General Hospital,One life to live,all my children, i wanna be a soapstar,the fresh prince of bell air,Lizzie Mcguire,Boy Meets World,Brace Face,Even Stevens,Thats so Raven,American Idol,Americas next top model,jake in progress,Survivor(although I haven't watched it in along time),7th heaven,Charmed,The suite life of zack and cody plus many MANY more. Gosh I really can't think of anything else to say. So if theres anything you would like to know just ask and ya know tell me alittle bit about yourself. I think it would be really nice to get to know you better so if you feel the same way than just get back to me lol.
Xxxxxxx

kairos

 
teehee... bizarre world we live in. good 4 u 2 do a mass pre-emptive reply -- f they read it beforehand, that is.
jolly amusing, these 'hits'.
vivz la freakz!
 
Posted by kairos on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 3:54 AM
[Reply to this
jerry

 
They must think this is a dating svc/ or AFF. There's other ways to date/ find relationships.
 
Posted by jerry on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 5:02 AM
[Reply to this
shakes

 
hahahahhaah ... maybe there is hope for women out there after all...thanks for the laugh, home slice
 
Posted by shakes on Tuesday, February 28, 2006 - 7:24 AM
[Reply to this
shakes

 
ok that wasn't supposed to sound sexist, which is how it might come off after reading it....it was supposed to sound like, "maybe there are women out there that aren't total imbiciles afterall"....you're renewing my faith in a dying sect of women that there should be more of!

i'm drunk! love chris
 
Posted by shakes on Tuesday, February 28, 2006 - 7:28 AM
[Reply to this
MMMMMM......

 
i wish my messages were half as cool as these ones....i am so jealous!
 
Posted by MMMMMM...... on Tuesday, February 28, 2006 - 7:45 AM
[Reply to this
Black Eye Media Events

 
It has been a very long time since I read a blog this hilarious. So true. So real.

and I am NOT even on your friends list !!!!!!! haha......ok if i come into some cash flow and need photographer that isnt full of shit ? You will be the first person I contact on the business level only of course.....
 
Posted by Black Eye Media Events on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 4:03 AM
[Reply to this
Rachel

 
AHAAHAHAHAHAAHA

DUDE.

THATS SOO HILARIOUS.

my favorite is the best friend you never had giving you her WHOLE life story. PANIC ATTACKS!! Wanna be an actress, ey? Go figure.
 
Posted by Rachel on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 6:23 PM
[Reply to this
stefan daniel bell
Stefan daniel bell

 
Oh my gosh!

You are a sex goddess!!? I thought you were a photographer.

Here I was trying to be professional and get you attention as a designer. I should have been sending emails like these. lol
I am such a dork

Well, you seemed to really love photography, I guess it will have to wait until smoky rooms and knee pads have worn out.

You get 10 kudos from me (it'll only let me do 2, so I bumped it)
 
Posted by stefan daniel bell on Saturday, April 01, 2006 - 7:34 AM
[Reply to this
Skappleton 2009

 
everything about this blog blows my mind.

ok bye.
 
Posted by Skappleton 2009 on Wednesday, April 05, 2006 - 3:44 AM
[Reply to this
Margaret

 
"Date: Dec 25, 2005 12:16 PM
Subject: No Subject

Body: hey my name is matt im 20 m seaford li and ur beautiful so i imed u and ur info is interesting so maybe we can chill talk or chat my s/n is prncharming2 hit me back cutie we can get to kno eachother im in the navy to"

OMG! I know that guy! He was dating some girl i know. For some reason he thought i was like her bestfriend. So whenever he couldn't find her he would IM me and ask where she was. I was like i have no idea. He would hit on me too i was like wtf your dating this girl. After about 10,000 times i was like "Yo i havent fucking talked to the girl since June!!! Leave me the fuck alone!" lol weird kid.
 
Posted by Margaret on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 11:50 PM
[Reply to this
Margaret

 
"Date: Dec 25, 2005 12:16 PM
Subject: No Subject

Body: hey my name is matt im 20 m seaford li and ur beautiful so i imed u and ur info is interesting so maybe we can chill talk or chat my s/n is prncharming2 hit me back cutie we can get to kno eachother im in the navy to"

OMG! I know that guy! He was dating some girl i know. For some reason he thought i was like her bestfriend. So whenever he couldn't find her he would IM me and ask where she was. I was like i have no idea. He would hit on me too i was like wtf your dating this girl. After about 10,000 times i was like "Yo i havent fucking talked to the girl since June!!! Leave me the fuck alone!" lol weird kid.

I have gotten the swinger thing too!
I hate the whole mommi, sexxi babi people leave me alone i don't want to meet any of you lol
 
Posted by Margaret on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 11:52 PM
[Reply to this
Margaret

 
sorry about the 2 comment thing that was strange.
 
Posted by Margaret on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 11:53 PM
[Reply to this
Lauren Shields (Photographer)
Lauren Shields

 
lol those messages are so funny!
quite a few weirdo's on myspace.
=)
x x x
 
Posted by Lauren Shields (Photographer) on Tuesday, May 09, 2006 - 11:44 AM
[Reply to this
Sara Elle

 
bwahaha i love this blog its fucken awesome I HATE thoes e-mails people send like your hawt, I used to have a thing in my profile saying please dont send me emails saing "your hawt wana bang cutie pie" the sad truth is someone once sent that to me... People on myspace are so lame sometimes
 
Posted by Sara Elle on Saturday, May 13, 2006 - 10:42 AM
[Reply to this
SKELETON TELEVISION

 
since this is the only place i can comment. i just wanted to say that your pictures are totally awesome. like ninja turtles. no one REALLY wrote that limp bizkit message did they??? did they?? humanity hangs in the balance.
peace.
skeleton television
 
Posted by SKELETON TELEVISION on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 10:30 PM
[Reply to this
RKBKC Photography!

 
ha..haha...ahahahah!
 
Posted by RKBKC Photography! on Tuesday, August 08, 2006 - 9:14 PM
[Reply to this
Suzzzilla

 
And this is why I keep my profile closed and private.
 
Posted by Suzzzilla on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 7:08 AM
[Reply to this
jon g

 
HaHahaha...is this shit real ?
very funny stuff
 
Posted by jon g on Saturday, October 21, 2006 - 6:48 PM
[Reply to this
→ |ś-вαвι«™
Wıfèч Mαťēяıαł

 
dont worry i wont message you like that I HATE when peploe ask that stuff i gave yuo too kudos
 
Posted by → |ś-вαвι«™ on Saturday, December 02, 2006 - 2:25 AM
[Reply to this
American Redstart

 
My name is Kevin Depot and i am originally from Rhode Island. I play ska. I recently started school at the Institute of Audio Research. I entered my music and have been chosen as a finalist in the Next Step Competition. 5 were chosen out of 30/40 entries. The competition takes place at Arlenes Grocery on Tues. Feb 27th. and is FREE. I ask for any type of mentioning on your site/myspace. Your attendence would be desired even more.

myspace.com/americanredstart
iarrecords.com

I thank you immensely for even reading this.
Kevin
 
Posted by American Redstart on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 12:52 AM
[Reply to this
beas

 
bah.... all of the other comments pertained to this blog.

good luck, kevin.
 
Posted by beas on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 10:16 PM
[Reply to this
Tommy

 
You hate this kind of stuff?
Now, How am I suppose to chat you up?
Just kidding.
 
Posted by Tommy on Sunday, July 01, 2007 - 8:47 PM
[Reply to this
Nacho Man
Andrew Panaccio

 
good lord, there are some friggin weirdos out there!
 
Posted by Nacho Man on Monday, July 09, 2007 - 10:04 PM
[Reply to this