Things I Learned At Horrorfind 2009
1. That Mike Lombardo of Reelsplatter.com is completely insane, but in a good "dress up like your mother as Leatherface only hot" sort of way.
2. That Michael Knost, indeed, is the sexiest editor working in the business.
3.
Regarding the above, that Michael Knost and Greg Hall of The Funky
Werepig may be working on a project together soon...or was that model
for a charity "Men of Horror" swimsuit calender? I forget. It was late,
and I was sleepy.
4. Regarding the above, 2% milk is like 150% liquor to Greg Hall.
5.
That contrary to popular opinion, everything can NOT be blamed on
Dickie. Some things defy explanation, like the "Pointer Sisters" and
mythical mullets.
6. That Meteornotes makes the best brownies in the world. Period.
7. That according to Kelli Dunlap, Margot Kidder's handler should be fired for elder neglect.
8.
That Greg Hall has an unhealthy fascination with Margot Kidder's
eating habits.
Refer to #4, and possibly #5 for explanation.
9.
That "her eyes flashed" is NOT an empty descriptive phrase, because it
was seen frequently this past weekend, especially when Kelli Dunlap
switched the settings of her eyes from "stun" to "kill".
10.
Alethea Kontis knows everything there is to know about Dr. Who and all
his incarnations, all things fairy tale, and backliva. Because of
this, she should be nominated the "Science Fairy Tale Backliva Queen"
of the next MoCon. Her duties? To regale us with tales of Dr. Who and
The Frog Prince while making us all backliva, of course.
11.
The only thing better than watching Jeff Heimbuch give Alethea Kontis
a shoulder rub is watching him wrestle Monrozombi for the honor of
giving Aleatha Kontis a shoulder rub.
12. Apparently, I move
more product when I'm NOT at the dealer table, and someone like Jessica
Lynne Gardner is. Make of that what you will.
13. That
more than likely, a postcard with me leaning demurely on a tombstone
will not sell as many books as Jessica Lynne Gardner.
14. That,
not unlike Maurice Broaddus, my main goal has become to get big enough
in the genre to refer to myself in the third person, but instead of
snubbing people at Cons, I'll ditch my own readings instead.
15.
That the only thing better than hanging at Horrorfind with friends is
coming home to hugs and kisses from wife Abby and daughter Madi.