There are general misunderstandings between mainstream white Americans and mainstream black Americans which have everything to do with race.

I am the child of a white mother and black father who gave me up for adoption. I was adopted by white parents and grew up with white relatives. Although I love them and they are my family, there are more than a few bigots in my family tree.

I completely identify with everything Senator Obama expressed. I have been to Farrakhan rallies and I was at the Million Man March. Neither is an indication of hatred toward my white family members, nor white people in general.

America has made me black. I’m not saying it has made be genetically/biologically black, but the racist past and present denial have instilled in me a cultural connection to black Americans more than white Americans. I have never been discriminated against or ridiculed or assaulted verbally or physically by black folks, but I have time and time again by white folks. Does this make me bitter? No. Does this make me angry? Yes. Does it in any way force me to deny my white family members, even the racist ones? No.

This is the reality for most of us who grew up in a similar situation. We are able to identify the nuances of race in American in a true, objective way. I can sit in an auditorium or pew and listen to preachers lambast American policies without embracing hatred for those who support either the policies or the preacher. There is an inherent complex understanding of people and their motivations.

The first time I heard the N-bomb I was in second grade and a fourth grader was dropping it on me along with his fists. I had never heard the word before. Afterward, I was treated to N-bomb terms and jokes by my elementary school and junior high school peers. Of course they always added the required "no offense" after spewing such bile. Some even suggested that I was somehow different from "other blacks" because I was polite and an excellent student. What dawned on my later is that none of those white kids knew any other black people. My sister and I were the only black people they knew.

My parents told me what white people talk about when black folks aren’t present. They weren’t throwing their white friends and coworkers under the bus; they were explaining the reality of the world they knew. The reality of a world I could never know, except through them.

I think Barack Obama articulated the reality of race in America. It is a severe double standard that black people always have to reject or denounce or explain in the name of black people everywhere. Or that the words, ways, and actions of a black person somehow represents a monolithic view of all black people. We are not stupid. We understand nuance and complexity just as anyone else does. I can’t count the times I was asked about a so-called black issue because I was the only black person in class.

Meanwhile, no white person would accept George W. or Bill Clinton as "their leader." White folks are presumed to have the leeway and intellectual independence to think differently or the same as other white people without being representative of white people as a whole. Unfortunately, the same leeway is not given to black Americans. Either we agree with everything another black person does, or we disown every part of that person.