I'll never forget my first Roller Derby bout.  Ever.
It was the 2008 Season Opener of the Emerald City Rollergirls known as BLOODY SUNDAY (I still have the program).  Sure, I live in Portland, Oregon & we have the beautiful, fearless Rose City Rollers (my team is the Break Neck Betties) & they have been around for awhile.  But I wanted to see a blooming league who was working together to find their way on the flat track & I found it in the ECRGs.  I figured if I was going to experience the derby for the first time, I wanted to take it all in with a league who were new to the revamped sport as I was.  When I stood in line, in the cold air of Eugene, Oregon, waiting to get into the Regional Sports Center & witness a wonderous spectacle, I knew my wife & I were in for something special because there was a buzz within that crowd of derby fans.  They spoke of derby like it was a newfound religion & I wanted to be part of that faith.  & when the ECRGs mascot, an emerald flying monkey who looked like a priceless reject from The Anti-Wizard of Oz, followed by various rollergirls from the only two teams they had at the time, the need to be part of it was confirmed.  Seeing Emerald City Rollergirls greet the fans--passing out promo stickers & pumping up the crowd--made me feel like I was part of it. 
& it only got better from there.
On our way to the bout, I explained the rules of the sport to my wife, Bets, while she drove:  "What the hell is a Jammer?"; "How many players on the track at once?"; "How do they score?";  "What does the Pivot do?"; "Do they act like wrestlers you see on t.v.?"; "A Jam is how many minutes?"; "Where should we sit?"; "Will we wind up with a rollergirl in our laps?"  I answered the last question with:  "If we're lucky!"  With a quick tutorial for Bets, I believed we were ready & I couldn't have been more wrong.  There was so much more to derby than I realized & when we found ourselves entering the Sports Center, we were greeted by an atmosphere that crackled with an electrical current that would have made Tesla proud.  The ECRGs were there to not only put on a show for the fans but to compete like the sirens on quads they proved themselves to be. 
Rockabilly music slammed our eardrums, fans pressed to the schwag tables to buy derby fan gear--t-shirts, stickers, shot glasses, etc.--emblazened with the logos of their two teams:  The Church of Sk8in & the Andromedolls.  & what was even more impressive, the smiles of the fans--something I haven't seen on sports fans since the day the Cleveland Indians made it to the World Series in '95--it was infectious.  Bets & I made a b-line for seats in the stands so we could take it all in--like the Corporate Executives sitting in their box seats in Rollerball (the James Caan version)--absorbing the scene like sponges, while I went over the rules again & went through the program to pick out which rollergirls with the coolest names we would look for on the flat track.  "Check out this name: 'Slapcat'"; "What about this one?:  'Screamin' Mimi'"; "I like: 'One Eyed Jack!'"; "Yeah, but 'Southern Slasher' sounds like a rollergirl to be reckoned with."  The names continued to fly--making us itchin' for the bout to begin.
It started with the introduction of the two teams for the days bout & at the start of the first whistle it was on!  We watched Screamin' Mimi--a little Jammer who turned out to be a GIANT on the track.  She bobbed & weaved through the pack like she was born with quads on her feet--dodging hip-checks, illegal elbows & wrists like they were nothing--scoring point after point till she cleared the cloister & playfully showboated for the roaring crowd.  Bets immediately became one of her biggest fans & I couldn't blame her.  She looked at me & asked which rollergirl was my favorite.  As if right on cue, a black blur in a plaid mini-skirt slammed into Mimi & sent her airborne into the crowd on the first turn of the track, crashing amongst the surprised fans in a tangle of arms, legs & skates.  I pointed & said:  "HER!"
That's when "Lil-Whip-Her-Snap-Her" got her biggest fan!
She was AWE-some!  What Screamin' Mimi had in speed, agility & the ability to dodge blockers, Lil-Whip-Her had the chops to stop any Jammer in their tracks like a brick wall meeting the face of a Harley Davidson rider thrown from their hog!  This is NOT an exaggeration--Lil-Whip-Her hits that hard!  & I love it!  Unsuspecting Jammers will attempt to pass her & with a flinch of her hip she sends them careening into their teammates--taking out not only the dazed Jammer, but their own Blocker or two or three.  It's a sight one must truly behold.  The same goes for the talents of Southern Slasher, One Eyed Jack & Bullet Brains who are fantastic Jammers in their own right.  As for blockers, Lil-Whip-Her isn't the only one who knows how to run a pack--Lady Lumps & Krazy Kurls fit right in, as well.  It's not just these rollergirls who make the teams fantastic but ALL of the ECRGs--ALL of them.  They inspire me with their love for their sport & their obvious love for each other.  It's a homegrown spirit I wish I could be part of whenever I see them take to the track.  They are the reason why I'm writing my derby inspired graphic novel, BOO-JEE GRRRL!: THE URSULA SCHLABOTNIK PROJECT, & I thank them for it.
But it doesn't stop there.
Since my first bout, I went to almost every ECRG home bout of '08 (missing only one) &, with the need for a derby fix during the entire season, I went to every Rose City Rollers home bout of their 2008 season--cheering on the great Break Neck Betties stars MaRollin' Monroe, Cadillac, Ava-S8trix &, my favorite, Leet Speaking Missile.  When the RCRs hosted the ECRGs for a interleague bout, I was in absolute heaven.  Sure, the RCRs made short order of them, but they held their own & it wasn't a complete blow out.  I look forward to a rematch between the two & I can honestly say the ECRGs improved in a very short time from the beginning of the inaugural season--so heed the warning RCRs, they are out to show their fangs & leave quad-marks on the fallen.
My wife should be a Rollergirl--the spirit resides within her.  But with her bad knees from a skiing accident, it was not meant to be.  My best friend, Traci Thorpe, should be a Rollergirl--the spirit resides within her too (hell, she's already come up with her own rollergirl name:  "Tatsy Cline"--love it!).  If Bets & I had a daughter we would encourage her to become a Rollergirl & I would've been the proudest father you EVER saw & she would've been a hellion--taking right after her mother.  Roller Derby is that great of a sport.  It really is.  To me, it's our nation's second greatest past-time because it has that much history.  Ask any Rollergirl.
God loves a Rollergrrrl.  I know this to be true.  They are like no other.  Roller Derby is their sport and their sport alone.  No one can take it from them & no one should try.  Roller Derby is a women's sport & should stay that way.  Forever & ever.  Amen.
Hail Sk8in!
"Dying is easy, Derby is hard!" -- Jason Zachary Pott, Portland, OR. 2009.