Disclaimer:  In case you're one of like five people in the world who haven't finished the last Harry Potter book, worry not. This post is 100% anti-spoiler. So READ on!

I did it.  It took me four days of marathon reading sessions, but I did it.  I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  I'm not going to review it, or say much more about it other than that it was one of the most entertaining books I've read in awhile and I can't wait for the movie.  But for now, it's done... and I'm glad it's done.

Now, in any other case, four days would seem like a pretty short amount of time to get through a 760 page book.  In this case, however, it almost wasn't fast enough.  I HAD to read it quickly because if I didn't I risked knowing the ending before I even got there.  It seemed like everyone except me had read the book the night they got it and everybody wanted to talk about it as loud as they possibly could.  Thank god for iPod.  However, after spending the better part of last week and this weekend doing everything I could to keep away from spoilers, I finally finished the book on Tuesday night, unspoiled.  I was now free to read all the reviews and chat forum fodder I wanted.  I was free to discuss the book (privately and quietly) with all my coworkers who apparently had nothing better to do with their Saturdays and Sundays than to gorge themselves on Harry Potter,  and had finished the book before Monday.  I was free from the chains of Harry Potter spoiler paranoia.  I was one of the lucky ones.

One of the first chat forums I visited was Aint It Cool News.  On the site was a talkback featuring two AICN contributors discussing what they liked and disliked about the book.  Amongst their criticisms and witicisms was a little tidbit that I caught onto immediately-  Apparently there were a number of people who, on the night of the book's release, decided that it would be oh so much fun to run up to groups of people awaiting their copies at bookstores and yell out the major developments of the book before anyone had a copy.  A Run-By Spoiling, if you will.  These pillars of coolness taped their escapades (which I'm sure they thought was just the height of anti-establishmentism) and put it on YouTube, apparently for everyone to watch and cheer along and praise them as the Gods of Awesome that they are.

What. Fucking. Douchebags.

So, let's think about this for a minute...  Okay, I'll admit, even with the mass popularity of a character like Harry Potter, and the ultimate anticipation of learning the fate of a character that has become ingrained in the world literary psyche, it is completely geektastic to camp out in front of a bookstore until midnight to pick up a copy (especially if the copy is reserved).  Sure, it's pretty silly, but that's the fun of it right?  It's part of the communal experience to sit around for hours with fans discussing what you think might happen to the characters and endlessly analyzing the previous books to see if you can flesh out some clues but hoping at the same time that you are totally wrong in your assumptions and this book will totally blow your theories away.  It's dorky, yes.  But it's good times.

It's also good times to keep a sense of humor about it.  It's a bit of schadenfreude sometimes to heckle people in costume or to make jokes about how nobody apparently has lives because they're all camped outside the local Borders.  But what's funny about what these guys did?  Please, somebody tell me because I don't see it.   What's funny about ruining these people's good time?  Or worse, making them feel like their efforts are worth shit?  That's not funny, that's fucking cruel.

Plus, what's the point?  In reading some of the comments to the YouTube videos I came across an interesting theme.  The majority of the comments were cheerleading (which is sad), but many of them also claimed that they were happy to see the book spoiled for the fans outside of bookstores because those fans are "lame".   So... wait... how is it less lame then to mess with them?  They aren't hurting anybody so who the fuck cares?  At least they have a good reason to be at the bookstore.  The spoilers are just a bunch of bored assholes who get off on being bored assholes.  THAT'S FUCKING LAME!

It's funny because I have yet to watch a video where the people in line do anything other than blankly watch these buffoons yelling out the plot developments of the book.  Those guys should consider themselves lucky then.  I, fortunately, had my book delivered to my apartment so I wouldn't have to deal with the bookstore hysteria, but I'm pretty sure that if I had been at one of the bookstores that got hit with that shit it would have been another story.  When my coworkers started talking about the book on Monday I immediately yelled at them to shut up or find a private room.  I was already halfway through but I still did not want to know things before I read them.  If I had been in one of those bookstore lines I'm certain that at least one of those YouTube stunts would have ended with one of the assholes getting knocked the fuck out.  I guaran-fucking-tee that.

Look, I love YouTube.  I love all the stupid shit on there, and I love all the important shit.  But, come on.  With all the ways YouTube can be utilized, why waste it on this?  If you want to spoil the book, then just tape yourself sitting at the camera and telling all the information.  If someone's stupid enough to click on your video, it's their own fault.  But to tape yourself being a total dick is just intellectual assault.   Part of me wants karmic retribution for these people. Part of me wishes that anytime one of these people anticipates something it's completely spoiled for them.  But then, that would make me just as much of a dick wouldn't it?  To spoil something that someone is looking forward to, like really really looking forward to, will ruin their entire connection to it.  Instead of that person being able to experience the information first-hand for themselves, they've now been given all the good stuff second-hand and minus the context.  Basically, they've just been fan-raped.  One person gets off on cruelty while the other person just stands there with a blank look on their face and realizing that all the fun of the anticipation is gone.

This brings me to my last point.  With each YouTube comment about the "lame" fans that I read, the angrier I became.  Not because I happen to be a fan and someone who might just camp out in line to get a book or see a movie, but because these sick fucks are missing the whole point.  They think they're ruining this for a bunch of nerdy adults.  They forgot about the kids.  Adults can brush that shit off.  They might be pissed, but eventually they'll just pass it off as a bunch of dicks being dicks and they can still find some enjoyment in the book.  But the kids in line have fucking invested in Harry Potter's world and the characters in the book.  Imagine being a kid in line outside the Borders or Barnes and Noble and standing in line with mom or dad, maybe a sibling or two, or some friends, eagerly awaiting the moment those doors will open and you'll get your hands on that final book.  It's part of the fun.  It's part of the magic and mystery and enjoyment of the book.  It's a great memory that you can always attach to that particular book.  Now imagine that a bunch of fucking 18 and 20 year olds just ran by and told you everything you DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.  They just fan-raped your ass and instead of a happy memory of that night, now all you're left with is the disappointment of knowing that the book you've been waiting for is ruined.  What's the point of reading it now when you already know what happens?  What's the point of standing in line? 

As Harry Potter has grown into a phenomenon and beyond, people have forgotten that the best part about Harry Potter is that it has gotten kids excited about reading again.  This whole fan thing is encouraging kids to want to read and to gobble up these books and, hopefully, pass on that hunger for books to their future children.  So what have these guys really accomplished other than proving their tooldom on YouTube?  Well, they very well may have fucked over some kids in the process.  In the age of Cliff's Notes and instant entertainment, what will happen to our children's ability to read if people keep pissing on their excitement?  If our children stop wanting to read, what then happens to our nation's imagination?  What happens to future generations' willingness for information? 

Maybe that won't happen.  Maybe these guys are just a bunch of dicks with a camera who thought it would be utter hilarity to bully a bunch of Harry Potter fans.  But if this kind of thing can produce cheerleaders who proclaim that the "lame Harry Potter fans deserve it", then maybe people should stop and think about the consequences before they decide that they're so fucking cool.