If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure
and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to
participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds
into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek
immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental
guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the
following are applicable to your child:

1-Frequently wears black clothing.
2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.
5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.
(Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against
the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10-Takes drugs.
11-Drinks alcohol.
12-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental health center.)
14-Complains of boredom.
15-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16-Is excessively awake during the night.
17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19-Spends large amounts of time alone.
20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child
may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders
are but a few examples of this.
23-Misbehaves at school.
24-Misbehaves at home.
25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of
this.
26-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)
27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
(Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing
nature.
29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
30-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
31-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
32-Expresses an interest in sex.
33-Masturbates.
34-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
35-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
36-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
37-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it.
If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental
health center.

Okay guys... I bolded all that pertain to me and apparently... I should be placed in a local mental health center.... i found this on my friend's buzznet and I just had to share with y'all because I know that you all would think it pretty funny because I think pretty much a lot of you kids would fall under the same catagory. Because I mean, just five makes you goth? I think we're all screwed =) Soo, what all do you guys fall under? Maybe we can land in the same institution together? ha ha =)

<33 Khrysthene