Enough with the death threats, the blog is here.  Yes we've been busy and yes, I've been just as lazy.  Or maybe not as lazy, enjoying my time away from being away.  

So instead of boring you with details of load in times and radio stations and meals and after hour shenanigans, I present the best of, the worst of.

And by 'boring you', I meant boring me.

7/30: Best Head Shop: I don't remember the name of it but it's right around the corner from the Blue Note.  You step off the bus and it's right there where we park on Walnut.  Now I don't know much about TOBACCO pipes (water pipes) but this place had a whole set of Star Wars theme pipes.  Now I don't condone or condemn the use of water as a medium for smoking TOBACCO but if you can use Darth Vader's light saber as a carburetor then that's pretty cool.

7/31: Best Mexican Provided: so a guy that I've known since day one of Lincoln/Manhattan/KC/Wichita shows is named Doug.  Doug had read about cookies and treats that had been bestowed upon us recently (hint hint) and had bragged his mother created the best Mexican dishes.  So as it would be, doors open at 7 at the Cotillion so I'm slinging koozies when he actually brings the food to the bus.  However, after load out with plenty of dishes left, I broke up a to go tray with one of the larger burritos I'd ever seen.  Throw on some sauce marked "hot" and dug in.  Folks, become friends with Doug, if only for his mom's cooking.

8/1: Best Outdoor Venue Potential: Little River Music Valley in Tecumseh.  A really 'new' place, a work in progress, a diamond in the rough, an oasis in the desert.  Cliched out yet?  Sorry.  Does have a couple factors fighting it, it's a bit off the beaten path and as any newer venue still has a couple growing pains.  Reminds me a lot of the Red Dirt Harvest Festival at Grape Ranch, just a super cool vibe although still in the stages of creating it's own identity.

8/2: Best Reason To Have a Pop Up Tent: Texas, first of August, outdoor patio show.  In all fairness Love & War In Texas offered me a tent but with how merch was set up it wasn't gonna work.  Oh, and I could use some 'color'.  The color I didn't need was red so after about an hour I'm hiding under the beer trough tent when I can.  So being an early show starting at 5 I fully expected to be home in Fort Worth by 9.  Didn't even pack up merch until after 9:30, I think Jason got carpal tunnel from signing autographs for a couple hours.  I think we both got athlete's foot from standing in our own sweat.

8/5: Best Acoustic Show I Didn't Work: Firehouse, I heard it was great

8/6: Best Excuse for a Roller Rink: Midnight Rodeo in San Angelo.  New club had only been open a couple weeks and the club is great, still smells like the backseat of a new car. But as we are loading in and setting up I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it used to be.  Finally manager tells me, old roller rink.  Being a hockey fan and music fan, it was a struggle to determine what was more important.  However, I've never paid a bill playing hockey so in these tough economic times, I'm going with music venue.

8/7: Best Rodeo Hospitality Ever: this was a tough one, played a ton of places that take care of ya.  However, Lea Co. Rodeo went above and beyond.  Loaders, great stage, great sound, bus parked and secured right by the stage, had a big mobile home for us to clean up and relax in, plenty of food to eat and scavenger to the bus later, Lea Co. had it all.  Plus it was the best merch sales for the run which was quite shocking.  

8/8: Runner up in the Best Hospitality Ever: Douglas County Rodeo.  Did you see a tie coming?  It was close.  The determining factor was Lea Co. provided more of snacks (are appreciated) for the bus.  Had to go with quantity of quality as both places.  I would say the crowd itself was of higher quality in Castle Rock, but man I love snacks.

8/9-8/11: Worst Location for Stay Over: I thought I had picked a nice suburban area based on a nearby movie theater (dollar movies from 2001), a mall (a strip mall that was 80% empty) and an Applebee's and Hooters.  At least the grocery store kicked ass and yes, I did get In-N-Out Burger although it was a drive.  And several us went to the Diamondbacks game and yes, we won.  Probably cause I supported the team by purchasing a D-Backs jersey, that pretty much made me look like a D-bag.

8/12: Best Steak of The Tour: Martini Ranch is two blocks from hotel.  Outback Steakhouse was two blocks from hotel.  You can do the math.

8/13: Best Deja Vu: Load in at Galaxy and Brad swears we've played the venue before.  No sir, we've never played Galaxy in Albuquerque before.  We don't swear to God or Buddha, you have to put your MANHOOD on the chopping block.  So technically we haven't played Galaxy before but after a few discussions and stepping into a time warp, we had played the venue before.  January 2, 2003, with Ragweed, called the Midnight Rodeo.  Crazy Ray was there with his bus going to Steamboat, I drove the van with trailer with only Roger in it.  At the time, there were 14 people on the bus.  This is the only time in human history there was more room in a van than trailer.

8/14: Best Shower Seat: okay, I already feel guilty when hotels give us the handicap accessible rooms, ya know just in case.  But in the oversized bathroom of our room was a shower seat, which I thought would be funny to leave in the shower for Roger to follow in the room once he was done with laundry.  However before you judge, have you ever sat while showering?  No, not a bath, that's like soup.  I mean SAT down?  Showers are quite relaxing but go ahead and take a load off next time.

Also this day I developed my still overwhelming dream of a one man vacation to Lake Powell.  It will happen.

8/15: Worst Hotel of Run: it was Days Inn or Super 8, it was yellow I remember that.  Also trying to check in was a nightmare cause they HAVE to HAVE all the names of the people in the rooms.  No, it's not a law.  Oh, and if you HAVE to HAVE all the people's names in the rooms, maybe you should have clean rooms?  Maybe decent towels.  Or key cards that open the doors.  

Folks, we stay in a lot of hotels and I don't list the names of the band members due to one incident in OKC long ago of someone finding out our room numbers.  So yes I enjoy making up aliases for each guy but it's annoying to have to.  

8/16-17: Best Location for Stay Over: I did more research this time, found super suburbia in Peoria.  First off, a block from In-N-Out Burger (those ARE good burgers Walter), a PF Chang's for A-Lain's birthday dinner, a mall that's bigger than the town I grew up in, ma-pop Italian place.  One drawback, the guest laundry dryer was broken so the guys spent a fortune tumbling their clothes until they dried.  Should've set up a clothes line in the parking lot, we had room.

8/18: (tie) Best Parking for Non-Bus Parking and Best Nirvana Cover: first off there is no parking in OB in Sandy Eggo.  So we found a pay per spot and feed the box parking lot.  Nine spots, $54 and reassurance from the parking lot attendants we were fine led to the greatest cover of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" ever.  To be perfectly honest I don't really recall hearing a band cover that song cause to be perfectly honest I'm not a Nirvana fan because to be perfectly honest Pearl Jam is, was and always will be the better band.  Thankfully Ed Vedder didn't marry a heroin junkie that shot him for the money....but now I'm off on a tangent.  So two guys were just sitting in the parking lot singing "SLTS" at a scream pitch to some point.  Noah's new phone has video so there is evidence of it.  Now converting that to youtube.com I'm not sure how yet but I will one day. The audio isn't great so hopefully you have external speakers on whatever computer you're viewing with.

8/19: Worst Address for GPS: okay so most towns have numbered street address and if there is an additional location (suite, apartment, floor, etc.) it's clearly noted.  Well the Coach House address needs additional information that states "we're right behind where you are".  The funny thing is Greg has drove buses for 30+ years and the Coach House has the most impressive amount of band 8x10 promos I've ever seen.  Literally HUNDREDS if not thousands, every wall, row after row.  So Greg, who'd never been to Coach House, just walked around and named over 30 bands he'd captained.  However, never to Coach House.

8/20: Worst Load In/Out this side of Smith's Olde Bar: ah Brixton you're such a fine venue.  Smaller club, music first mentality, great sound, literally on the beach, I wasn't even upset that you don't really have room for merch.  But you seriously need an elevator.  Twitter fans got a pic of the stairs, treacherous to say the least.  And add that at load out the bus was about 1/4 mile uphill parked to where I was too worried to move.  You'd think at 2 am there wouldn't be a lot of traffic in and out, but you'd be wrong.  

Funny side note, the door guy was a huge man of what seemed to be South Pacific ancestry, so I asked him how do they deal with the American with Disabilities Act without an elevator.  Apparently it's his job that if someone with a disability wants to enter the club, he carries them down and up the stairs, then whatever mode of transport they use (chair, scooter).  Trust me, he was big enough to do it.

8/21: Best Pimp: you could see lots of things in LA and the end of Hollywood we were on, I'm sure there are great sights to behold.  However, we got the bus settled early on so our settlement lasted quite some time.  At one point, Noah notices the lime green Cadillac with matching 22" wire rims.  That in itself was sweet, but to see the presumed owner of said car wearing a suit that matched the car I went into a sugar shock it was so sweet.  Now I don't want to sound like the guy who generalizes people that match their wardrobe to the car's paint job, and no the guy did not have a feather in his cap, but I'm sticking by my statement of Best Pimp.

8/22: Worst Enemy to Music Venue: arrive in San Luis Obispo and park about a block from venue.  Within 20 minutes, a shop owner complains to police officer about the noise of our generator.  Forced to move.  No parking near the club as we are downtown, not a city downtown.  A shopping downtown, all boutiques, speciality shops, cheese shops, coffee, etc.  So much shopping there are two TOUR BUS PARKING only spots a couple blocks away used for charter buses that come to town just to bring shoppers.  However these are occupied so add another 45 minutes of driving around until blocking street, loading in and finally taking over one of the tour bus spots (still got a $50 ticket though).  However, it's directly in front of a home.  It took the owner 10 minutes to tell us that if we didn't shut off our engine (which was the generator) she'd call the cops.  She called the cops on the band the night before, she's done it plenty.  Eventually the other spot opens up and we are settled for the duration of the day.  However, that lady can eat a bag.

Also wanna mention the people at Downtown Brew did everything to make this easier on us.  Their hands are kinda tied in the situation but kudos to them for all their work in getting us not cop called.  Plus, hands down best crowd of the tour.  Or at least the loudest, Seattle was pretty bad ass too.

8/23: Best Snacks Appreciated, Voodoo Lounge: our hospitality rider is pretty simple.  Water, beer, cokes, red bull, stage towels and at the end says SNACKS ARE APPRECIATED.  So anytime a venue provides something as simple as a bag of chips and salsa the phrase is, "snacks appreciated."  Literally they bring a shopping cart full of food to the bus.  Two cases of water, two cases of beer, case of Red Bull, case of coke, case diet coke, 5 bags of chips, salsa, queso, meat deli tray, veggie deli tray, fruit deli tray, cookies, etc.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  So if you are reading this and know a road manager, send him to Voodoo Lounge in San Jose.

8/24-25: Worst Western/Best Village Suites: obviously traveling with a bus and trailer you have to take parking lots into account for everything, fuel, food, lodging.  So online Best Western Ashland claims bus parking and laundry services, book rooms, done deal.  Unfortunately upon arrival we learn there was not a bus lot and although we were able to park in their lot, we were told they were sold out for the night and we'd be asked to move later on.  Well, how about we go across the street to Village Suites.  Great service, plenty of parking, friendly staff and laundry.  Twenty six day tours, laundry is possibly 2nd most important behind reliable vehicle.

8/26: Biggest Let Down of Local Culture: Starbucks.  I'm not a big coffee drinker, maybe a cup every week or two at the most.  But I was pumped about getting some Starbucks coffee in Seattle.  First off, they are not everywhere like you'd think or like I thought they'd be.  Second, the one I found the coffee wasn't that good and the slice of lemon cake I got was $.20 more than it is in Fort Worth, and half the size.  Crowd was awesome, finally moved some merch out the door but no thanks to the coffee, haha.

8/27: Worst Parking: by worst I mean none.  We unload in a no parking zone and then thankfully find an open enough lot to park the bus in about half a mile away.  That wouldn't have been so bad had I not had to run back and forth for merch and then someone had to steal a koozie.  Yes, I know it's just a koozie but I hate thieves.  Or maybe especially because it's a koozie.  Either way, someone is a loser.

8/28: Best Grilled Cheese Ever: I know, how good could a grilled cheese sandwich be?  You put three kinds of cheese with a parmesan crust to the outside and you have it.  When you're in Carson City, NV, go to the Firkin and Fox, get the grilled cheese.  Grantpa had some stuffed flounder that he said was one of his best meals of his life, so Firkin and Fox is highly recommended.

Also, honorable mention for some of the craziest people I've ever met.  They will be in the book to be published at a later date.

8/29: Best Non-Hollywood Hollywood Town: so apparently a lot of towns in the Idaho Valley are being overrun by Hollywood actors.  And yes JB&S played the bar owned by Bruce Willis although there was no return from Bruno that night.  But the town is so beautiful you'd think it was a movie, or this is what they want towns to look like in the movies.  It's a town that postcards are made out of.

8/30: Best Drive of the Drive: Yellowstone Park.  If you haven't, go.  If you have, you know.  If you have, go again.  I woke up about 30 minutes into the park, Greg and Grantpa obviously awake.  Not long we are at Old Faithful, Noah joins the party.  Before long, everyone is awake looking for bears.  Lots of bison, a few deer, two elk but no bears. Remnants of the fire that tore through a few years back, the brush under the blackened trees coming in very green.  And as you leave YP it doesn't stop, the whole drive I could stay away for was beautiful.  Once I figure out some photoshop stuff on my computer I'll post some pics to Twitter.  Once again, the pain it is to embed pics in to the blog is tremendous.  Go ahead and join JB&S at www.twitter.com/bolandstraggler for your multimedia fixes

8/31: Longest Drive Home: 1346 miles, 24 hours. 

I'll let you guys digest this a bit before picking up on Fayetteville and Little Rock.  Now be nice to me, I'm going to bed.

mR.m