"We should have known better." by Kris

The Ryanair folk were never going to let us check in late, but it was a risk we had all been willing to take and now we're sitting an extra 5 hours and 150 pounds lighter at Caffe Alba in Stansted Airport.

In the latest in a series of tour-management bungles that have left us racing at 100-miles an hour down the M3 towards Cornwall just so we can arrive 30 minutes late for a gig that we're only going to make 30 pounds on.

That was, until we got a 30 pound parking fine.

There's a lesson for other bands thinking of doing one-off regional gigs in London - not worth it.

It had started out alright - I had booked a really good car for a really good price through Europcar, and managed to work out that with Cornwall about 5 hours drive away we could pick it up at Victoria Station at 1pm and make it to the gig for a decent soundcheck, a meal and a couple of beers.

When Tim casually mentioned the night before that we could pick up his guitar "on the way" (he and Marieke had been staying somewhere more private while she was here), I had anticipated a short detour on the West side of London before recommencing the pleasant trip through the English countryside.

So I only have myself to blame when, arriving at Victoria Station, Tim informs me that his guitar is in fact in Clapton which is not only a couple of suburbs away from where we are staying (Kings Cross), but also on the diagonally opposite side of London to where we now were. That meant a 'detour' through the centre of London in the middle of the day.

I have to admit, it was fun for about 30 minutes, passing Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, London Bridge etc but when the realisation dawned on me that we would then have to travel along the accursed M25 around the top end of the city my heart sank. True enough - traffic jams galore.

We all made mistakes that day. Tim's I've just mentioned, but Wally did his fair share of choosing small winding roads that he assumed would be quicker than just taking the freeway through Plymouth, and I made two or three really shocking wrong turns which took several minutes to rescue us from ending up back in the centre of London.

At least I can finally say "I was driving at 100 miles an hour". It also made for an adrenaline-driven gig when we finally arrived and smashed through 2-hours worth of classic Basic material. I'd love to see another Australian band manage to stick together under the same circumstances - we hadn't eaten since before leaving, we hadn't gone to the toilet for several hours, and we had to set up our gear and play without a single drop of the amber ale.

It ended up being quite fun, and after a few beers and then several follow-up Scotches we retired to bed quite contented, aware of a 7:30am rise in order to get the car back in time. It was also quite amusing to hear tales of Spargo drummer Mat Duniam's exploits in the area (including seeing his face on a Spargo poster scratched out by a jealous ex-lover).

That was until Wally woke us at 9:30am, having slept through his alarm (he claims it didn't go off).

Already 2 hours behind, and emerging into the dim Liskeard morning light, we didn't think it could get any worse until noticing the parking fine on the windscreen.

So just as quickly as we had arrived, we had to depart, having not been able to enjoy the sights and sounds of South-West England at all. We were even told by a Service Station attendant on the way back that we were "causing quite alot of trouble" when Wally answered his mobile while being served. Lots of tut-tutting and people just pushing in front, even when I had immediately stepped in with cash in hand. I guess they don't like Neighbours around there.

Thankfully the Liverpool trip mended our shattered bodies and spirits, baring witness to a real band from a real town going through their strides and earning all the success they had. It's so rare for that to happen these days.

Anyway, here we are now, not long to go before we witness the fjords of Norway...

Okay, it is a while - still 2.5 hours. Tim for another coffee methinks.