so this is my last post on the whole lost love. I ve gotten a few comments on how its a contradiction. How i m still dwelling on it by writing all of this. Maybe that is so. What more can a man do. I was just trying to get it out. I was trying to let go. Did it help? i cant tell yet. Do i feel better? in a way. Am I expecting anything out of it? No.
    As of now all i have is time. Time to grow, time to experience, time to deal. Push all the fucking emotions inside and pinch myself every time they come up. Its hard to want something so fucking bad but you know it will never happen again.
     I m going to go watch "What Dreams May Come"  with a tub of ice cream and a good blanket.