remember how i said the aches and pains had returned?  well, they worsened over the weekend.  my back and hips are giving me major problems.  i've been at this point before - where i have trouble bending over to tie my shoes, and i want to cry whenever i drop something because it means that i have to bend over in order to pick it up.  it's miserable.  the same thing happened about five years ago.  i was so desperate, that i accepted my sister's recommendation of her chiropractor, whom she said had worked wonders for her.  when he and i had our initial conversation over the phone, one of the first things he said to me after i told him what was going on was, 'sounds to me like your body's breaking down.'

that isn't something you want to hear when you're 21.

i haven't been to him in over three years.  i guess it helped when i was going, but i had to go every month.  'preventative care', he called it.  the biggest problem was that he was in davenport, which is quite a drive for a 15-minute adjustment.  now he's moved to colorado and hired someone else to take care of his iowa office.  and i don't want to be driving that far anymore anyway.  when i was desperate for help, it seemed to make sense, but i just can't justify doing it anymore.

i know that exercise and stretching and all that would help if i would just start doing it again.  i'm just not really capable of a wide variety of movements right now.  i know it sounds ridiculous, but the stuff that would no doubt help me i'm afraid will hurt me.  chad showed me a few stretches before we went biking on saturday, and i think i must have sounded like i was in labor.  it hurt doing just simple stretches.  chad thought swimming might be a good option (as there's little to no impact), but the problem is, i don't swim.  not well, anyway.  i'd have to take lessons first.  that might be something to consider, though.

i've entertained the idea of using some of my sick time and taking the rest of the day off work.  i don't know.  i don't feel right leaving for something that's not an emergency.  so i probably won't.

right now, laying flat puts pressure on all the wrong places.  i might have to start sleeping with a pillow under my lower back until i get these things under control - if i want to be able to get out of bed in the morning without having to ask for assistance, that is.