i tripped up the stairs saturday morning while getting ready to go to a reunion of the women on my mom's side.  i probably should have saved putting my shoes on till i was ready to head out the door, but didn't.  so one of my sandals caught on the carpet on my way up the stairs and pulled me forward.  i'd have fallen flat on my face had i not caught myself on the banister (which is what i guess they're there for, right?), but still, that unmistakable ripping sensation reverberated throughout my core and made me almost collapse in spite of myself.  i couldn't help but cry (i had just started to feel better that morning!).  i sat down for a little while and waited for the pain to subside.  then, i set about trying to collect myself.  i almost called the chiropractor to set up an emergency visit, but decided against it, figuring i'd wait and see if it got better on its own.  i took an anti-inflammatory. finished getting ready and left for the party.  it hurt like hell while i was driving and for about the first hour or so after i had arrived.  then it started to feel a little better.  i hope i didn't do any further damage, or re-injure it, or whatever.  somehow, i bruised the side of my left thigh, just below my hip, even though i really didn't hit it on anything.

that day, i found out from my aunt michele that both she and my mom (her sister) have one hip that's higher than the other.  whaddya know?  she had asked me what kind of pain i was having and where, and when i told her, she said hers had been very similar.  she said when the doctor showed her the x-ray, he actually put a ruler up and drew a line from one hip to the other.  there ended up being about an inch difference between the two.  after that, she bought an insert for her shoe for $5, and it made all the difference in the world.  5 freakin' dollars.

i may end up getting an x-ray just to see if i have the same thing as both of them.  my mom always used to say that it looked like i was holding one shoulder higher than the other, so i wouldn't be surprised.  and i'd hate to be getting treatment for something and have it not be the real problem.

a woman i work with asked me how i was today.  she's been asking me how i've been every day for the last week, which is sweet, but somehow, something she said this morning made me think a little more deeply: 'think about if you want to have a baby, or if you want to be able to get up the stairs when you're 60.'  it's true what they say that you have to live for today, but when you're in pain, it makes it harder to enjoy.  i really have to start thinking about how i'm going to care for my body in the long term.  there are a lot of changes that need to be made and habits that need to be built, and that's going to mean a huge shift in the way i currently think.

i've been talking to my body lately.  i know it sounds silly, but it's what i've been doing.  i've been reassuring it that i'm taking the steps needed to make it better, that as soon as i'm able, we're going to get out there and get active again, etc.  now that i know what can happen, i don't ever want to go through it again.  and i'm going to make every effort to ensure that i don't, damn it.