I find some more peace this morning, while getting ready for work. I change my desktop daily. I found a great pic of Vadim and Marianna, I will use that as my motivation today. I hope she is ok, as things seem hard for her. But I know Vadim is our strength and inspiration.

I am a little more content, I know he is gone but his loved ones fail to let his memory die. He was so amazing. I someday will find friends like him, if not I will remember the love he gave me. I will remember the gifts of joy and love he shared with me. I remember our conversations and time togeather, and despite it all how much fun we had, and the bond we shared. I will live life in a manner that I know Vadim would be proud of. His thoughts and views are not dead, they live on through everyone who loved him.

I miss him dearly, but I know this is how it is meant to be. I have peace knowing he is not suffering, and not faceing some of the trial he faced in life. I forever will miss him, but as the days go by it gets a little easier. Though there is so much I wish I said and did, I really wish life went down a different road. But I am glad we made our peace. I am glad we served large purposes in eachothers lives and realised it while we were both able to express it. Vadim really helped me through a lot and listened when I felt nobody else did. I remember countless hours talking about my deepest fears, and most passionate loves. Vadim gave me the same hope and inspration I gave him. He went against the rules, and did what was true to his heart. Including time spent with me. I am greatful, I just wish we had more time, I wish I said so many things that I never had the chance to say. But I loved, and that is the best thing. I loved and was loved. I had an amazing friendship and for that I am greatful. If I never meet anyone close to him, and never a friend that close to me who truelly understands me, I will be fine ith that, knowing that I once had that and know that someone once was there, who really knew so much. So I am at more peace. I am greatful for what I had, no hard feelings. Just like a bee sting, it hurts, but I will fight on. I want to thank Vadim for the many ways he impacted my life for the better. I love you and miss you my precious friend. You really were one of the best people I ever knew, thank you. RIP Vadim