So, my dog of 14 years - Mac E Mac - is starting to take a turn for the worse.  Her hind legs have all but failed her and she now spends her days on her side in a hairy pile of shock and awe.  From the teets forward she's still the vulturistic puppy that she's always been, ready for table scraps and any bits of food that will eventually hit the ground when she comes barrelling in.  I've always said that she's really a four-legged bird of prey covered in dogs' fur - just needing a beak and wings to complete the package.  She could use those wings right about now, as her hip and spine have boycotted this weeks scrap hunt leaving her front legs to fend for themselves. 

It used to annoy me to no end to hear her come crashing through the door whenever she'd hear the refrigerator opening.  I knew she didn't want to hang out with just Dad, but to hang with Dad and a bagel.  I don't know how she'd do it.  She'd be in the main house - I'd be in the back - I'd slowly and quietly open a bag of Funyuns and within seconds, the door would blow open and there she was.  Ready to receive what was surely meant for her.  I was always amazed that she could pull open a pair of French doors with nothing more than her front teeth and a four fingered paw.  If I could only get her to shut the door behind her I'd write a book and sell the knowledge to the world.  

Now, she can barely get out of the way of her own urine stream, let alone negotiate the complex stair-ridden path from one kitchen to another.  The sound of a dog wiping out trying to walk down three porch steps is a morbidly funny one.  Until you actually see her lying twistedly contorted, legs splayed cockeyed with a look of "fuckin' help me" on her face mixed with "got any Funyuns?".  It sucks.  Your heart hurts.  You give her a crispy fried rubberband to ease the pain. 

So, today I take her to the vet and we'll see what they say.  I'm fearing I already know the answer.  Looks like I may be feeding her those delicious artficially flavored crack-like onion-ey rings of artery clogging goodness for only a short while longer.  At this point, I can only hope she'll last the whole bag.